Tadpoledrift's Mistakes

Chapter Four

Her stomach churned and twisted as she lay in her nest, but she had just gotten used to the feeling for the past quarter-moon. Sick warriors, kits, and apprentices surrounded her as they sniffled and coughed.

Tadpoledrift watched as her apprentice gathered together herbs then headed out of the den alone, it was the half-moon after all. The silver and white she-cat quietly groaned to herself as her stomach began to twist more. She shifted onto her other side as she tried to get comfortable, but with the sound of paw steps coming into her den she sat up.

Her mate, and the new leader of RiverClan, had walked into her den with a grin on his face and a fish in his maw. His once kind smile didn't seem kind to her anymore, instead, it seemed crooked.

She groaned a reply as Muddystar walked up to her purring.

"Good evening Tadpoledrift, it seems you're still a bit sick so I've brought you a cod." He set the fish down in front of her.

Tadpoledrift grimaced and pushed it away from her.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I'd be able to keep it down." She tilted her head up to look at him. "I think you should take it to the sick queens and kits."

Muddstar's smile dropped into a frown.

"I'll be putting it back into the fresh-kill pile then." He sounded almost like he was offended as he tossed the cod aside.

She closed her eyes and put her head onto her paws, she didn't want to talk to him or anyone else tonight.

Suddenly her stomach twisted even more and she truly felt like throwing up. She sat up in her nest and ignored the tom that sat next to him, quickly running over to a nearby bush that was in her den. Twisting and churning, her body was upset or angered over something but she couldn't tell what in StarClan it was. She lurched forward as she felt her stomach slowly uncoil itself.

Tadpoledrift wiped a paw across her face, all she heard was white noise echoing around her.*

"Tad?" She felt a large paw be put onto her shoulder. "Tad, are you okay?"

She looked over her shoulder, tears forming in her eyes as she looked at Muddystar. In his eyes, she saw a storm of concern for her.

The silver and white medicine cat leaned into the leader, sobbing into his long, messy mane.

"I should've gone to the moonpool! I should've asked them sooner! I should've listened to their warnings! I should've known everything!" Tadpoledrift cried out as she pressed her head further into Muddystar's fur.

She felt Muddystar begin to groom the top of her head, a quiet calming purr coming from his chest.

"Tadpoledrift, please calm down. You've done nothing wrong here, always been loyal to your clan and the code." He tried to comfort her.

She knew his words were genuine and kind and loving, but all her mind could think back to was her mother's warnings.

Tadpoledrift weakly raised her paw up, resting it onto Muddystar's chest and pushing him away.

She forced a smile on her face and looked around her den, padding over to her herbs stores to grab out a juniper berry. Her ears perked up as she heard paw steps at the entrance again and turned around to see Blackberryblaze, the new deputy, looking to his leader.

"Muddystar you're needed outside for somethings, reports of rogues coming into our territory again." The black and blue tabby trotted more into the den.

"Send out extra border patrols at sunup." She heard the voices of the toms fade as they left the den, not fully paying attention anymore.

"What is wrong with you Tadpoledrift...?" She quietly murmured to herself.