Fragments of a Dream

Silence The Mirage

Here lies the corpse of Reyna. She lived as she died: hallucinating. The ivory gray clouds mourned above, but the wails echoed louder from those dressed like pilgrims holding white and maroon chrysanthemums. Her last words were, "At least I didn't lose you", and nothing could've hurt her more dreadfully than the lie of those few uttered syllables. Just when she felt like together they could conquer the kingdom of clouds and raise hellfire to Satan's throne, the cruel Gods decided to end it all. Or maybe it was as simple and deadly as three words, "but you did".

Beauty is only skin deep, Reyna reminded herself. While the echo of whipping still rang crystal clear, the membrane of her skin bled imperial red. Her thoughts raced faster than stallions and chariots crossing the starry night sky. Or were they stars? Did it truly matter? The lyrical whoosh of the wind hummed a lullaby as she trembled. Pearlescent tears trickled down her cheeks and she couldn't be more grateful that the saddened, azure clouds wept along with her. They came again and again: merciless. The hallucinations never felt like distorted reality. The days of neglected meals had left her but skin and bone. She crawled to her diary and let her pain surge to keep her sanity. She started scribbling, "I saw demons today..."

Dark spots circled her irises as she paced along the majestic hallway of a prestigious school. Her 9 months of experience as a foreign exchange student did more hinder than help her conditions. She never liked any of the courses or the flawless acquaintances. They were never mean and never rude but God forbid they ever be wrong. They never said a word, and yet every gesture they made told her everything their lips didn't. "You can't possibly be one of us" or "You don't belong here" or "this place is really not for you, you know." She knew they were talking about her when they whispered of the poor skeletal thing. It was always pity or disgust, never compassion, never respect, never ever trust.

They weren't wrong though, they never were. Reyna was the eccentric artistic kind. Paint on her fingers, on her cheeks, in her hair. Her mother used to say that her mental condition was a result of her brilliant and over powering imagination. "The things you paint darling..." she'd say while brushing Reyna's blonde curls, "they are too real to remain in your head, they spill into your reality." She'd always kiss her forehead after that. She missed her mother quite a bit as she walked down the hall to her class. No bruises remained from the might past. No scars, no pain, except the one in her soul. That would never heal and it hadn't gone away for quite some time now.

"You look like sleep wasn't your luxury last night." A seventeen-something-year-old girl spoke as she gave Reyna a quick side hug. She was a year older then Reyna, with flawless chocolate skin and brown curls that framed her face just right. Her eyes were a hypnotically intense green and would've been too serious on anyone else. On her they were charming, much like her. Reyna could always muster up a weak smile for Merida. Her only friend. Her only friend that she was falling in love with. Not philia or agape, but eros. That was her first sin, the beginning of them.

Reyna was more than ecstatic when she first met Merida. Her only anchor in an ocean hiding monsters in its gentle tides. All of Reyna's sins and shadows diffracted away as the only ray of lunar moonlight beamed. Merida was the angel to Reyna's demonic mind. She was her salvation in this hell disguised as a school. She was the only thing pure and untainted in the dark tunnel of her mind and everyday she fell a little more in love with her. Reyna threw herself at Merida and drowned blissfully in the scent of apple blossom.

"Please tell me you're alright", muttered Merida with gentle concern.
"Just tired", choked Reyna using all her willpower to hold back the tears.
"You sure? You look... unsettled ?"
"I swear I'm fine. Have a long essay due today on the brain alterations due to Hallucinogenics." She explained. She did have that essay due, it just wasn't the reason she hadn't slept. She rarely did though.
"I can't believe people take those voluntarily."
"Me either Ida."