Floating In My Feelings

Ignorance

It's just so funny how I knew yet I convinced myself otherwise..I told myself I won't have to go through it again one more time that it wasn't how it was four years back

Yes I told myself each passing day that I just have to forget and that it wasn't worth going back to that person I was years ago..These weeks I've managed to fool everyone around me however the moment I'm alone it all comes back..The smiles the laughs I really do try my best to make it as genuine as possible
I told them that I'm fine and I know I lied but I just it's really difficult for me to show/share what I'm feeling..

Foolish yes but I fell for him and a piece of me breaks every time I see him knowing that I can't have him and that we are "friends" and nothing more..there isn't even hope of something in the near future and that hurts more than I'd like to admit

I promised myself four years ago not to fall for someone again, I failed myself..

I've been ignoring this and managed to convince myself it's not true babe..I tried avoiding him until today
And when you brought it up it all came crashing down on me..I feel numb.. I'm mad at myself.. I'm disappointed once more..Just comes to show I'm not worth it
Because once again a "her" got first place

I don't know if I should laugh or cry

Sometimes Ignorance Is Bliss

                             S_vw