OffGun PickRome KhaiThird

The Talk: Off's Perspective

Off let him self cry for the first time in years and Gun just held him, rubbing soothing circles on his back. "I don't know why I'm even crying..." admitted Off. "Sometimes you just need to let everything out, Papi." Replied Gun "You always keep everything inside and deal with it on your own and that's not healthy. I'm glad you're letting it out and that I can be here for you." Off pulled away slowly "Uhhh I need to go to clean up again. Then we can talk properly? Thank you for always being there for me Gun."
Gun smiled brightly and pressed a kiss to Off's cheek. Off walked back to the bathroom and washed his face. He was so embarrassed that Gun had to see him crying. No one ever got to see him cry! But being held like that with no judgement filled him with a warm feeling that he'd never felt before. Damn, he was so gone on this kid. He dried his face and walked back to the kitchen. His nervousness returned as he saw Gun sat at the table waiting for him. "Let's eat Papi, then we can talk?" Gun smiled and some how Off felt better. "Sure," he replied  with a smile "I'm so hungry!" Apart from the first few weeks of getting to know each other or those occasions when he was feeling mischievous, Gun made Off feel at ease. Walking on stage to his fans used to have him full of nervous energy but walking out with Gun it was different he knew they'd be ok because they were together. "Gun," began Off after a few moments "You deserve an explaination for everything, but first I want to apologise. I got freaked out so I thought getting drunk would be a good idea. I shouldn't have called you and made you worry like that especially when you were out with your friends."
"Papi!" Gun tried to interrupt but Off continued "Please Gun, I need to say everything all at once so I don't chicken out, ok?" Gun nodded and said no more.
"So, the reason I freaked out was because I watched our show. Mook and I had been fighting again, she was saying the same things she always said when we fought. That I was cheating on her with you, that I was in love with you." Off looked at Gun to gauge his reaction but Gun kept his expression neutral. "I said what I always said back. That you were like a brother to me and nothing more. Then she started screaming out our show, how all her friends pitied her because we were so obvious on our show. That I was so obviously in love with you..." Off paused, trying to find the courage to continue. He looked up briefly at Gun, he was still sitting so patiently waiting for Off to continue. "I laughed at her, told her she was being ridiculous and she screamed at me to watch it myself and then tell her she was being ridiculous. So I did. I watched the whole thing. I've never watched the finished thing before you know?" Off was struggling now. He didn't know if he could continue. What if Gun laughed at him? What if he didn't feel the same, how could they continue working together? Just as he was about to give up and run away or make some shit up, Gun reached over the table and took his hand. It was such a small gesture but it meant so much to Off, it gave him the courage to continue "So at first I was thinking what the hell is she talking about? It was just us! But the more i watched the more I saw it..." Gun gave his hand a squeeze and Off fixed his gaze on their hands "...She was right Gun. She saw it before I did. I... I love you. God I can't believe I just said that out loud... Fuck." Off couldn't make himself look up. If he looked up and saw disgust in Gun's eyes he wasn't sure he could cope. Maybe if he just kept looking at their hands, time could stop and they could stay like this forever. He felt Gun's hand moving and instinctively grabbed it tighter. Gun wasn't letting go, he was just moving around the table to get closer to Off. Without saying a word he hugged Off with his free arm and kissed his head. Off pushed his chair back releasing Gun's hand and pulling him into his lap, hugging him as tight as he could. "Please tell me we're ok? Please? You don't have to tell me you feel the same and I promise I'll never force my feelings on to you just please, please don't leave me! I honestly don't know what my life would be without you..." Off knew he had said all he could say for now, he just had to wait to hear Gun's response.