Drunken Tongue Sober Heart || Sarah Paulson

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3: "I used to care about you. Now, I regret every second I wasted."

38: "You're an embarrassment to me!"

39: "You're an embarrassment to everyone!" 

42: "How could you ever think I loved you? You seriously think I'd sink that low?"

44: "How can you live with yourself?" 


What was supposed to be the best night of our lives soon became my worst nightmare. One minute Sarah and I were dancing and celebrating the success of the Ocean's 8 movie with all of her costars and the next she's spewing out hateful words to me as she can barely keep herself standing on her own two feet. 

"Okay! Okay I get it. Just please stop." My voice slightly shook as I pleaded with her for what felt like the hundredth time. I sank further into my seat trying to hide from her words but they just kept coming.

"I don't think you get i. Like you do nothing around here and blame it on anxiety. Guess what, I have anxiety and I still have a fucking job. I still go out and do things like a normal person would."  She paused to take another sip of her drink that only made her insults to get worse.

" I mean look at you. You're pathetic. You can't even stick up for yourself on the internet. Its always Sarah this and Sarah that. Sarah the fans did this Sarah the fans said that like grow the hell up. You're an embarrassment to me!

Tears stung my eyes as her words invaded my ears. I quickly covered my ears but she only got louder. I looked around praying that no one would hear the things she was saying. I silently prayed that the music would help drown her out but my prayers went unanswered this time.

"You're a embarrassment to all of us. You can't do anything for yourself. Someone has to make sure you eat, someone has to make sure you don't have a panic attack, you need someone to constantly make sure you haven't been cutting yourself. Like what are you an eighth grade emo kid?! Get your shit together y/n!" She downed the rest of her drink as I finally said something.

"Why are you saying these things? I thought I mattered to you? I thought you loved me?" My voice was shaky and low but I knew she heard me because she let out a deep laugh before looking over at me.

"Love you? You really think I love and care for you? That has to be the greatest joke I've heard all year. I mean how could you ever think I loved you? You seriously think I would sink that low? I mean I used to care for you. Now, I regret every second I wasted."

My heart broke into pieces as soon as she finished her sentence. This entire year of us being together has been a lie. My tears finally escaped my face and made trails down my face as I just stared at her in complete disbelief.

"So this was all a front? A game to you?"


"Obviously. You were just a one night stand that got too attached." She nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders before ordering another drink.

I just sat there silently as tears continued to run down my face. I wanted to believe that she was just speaking nonsense. That she didn't mean any of the things she was saying but deep down inside I knew it was all true. She was repulsed by me in all honestly. I was just a walking liability. I was too busy lost in my own thoughts that I didn't her continuing her hateful comments and I didn't noticed that all the cast members had made their way over to us. I wasn't brought back into reality until I felt a hand roughly hit my cheek.

I instantly cupped my face and looked up to see the eyes of the woman that I loved me. Her eyes were glazed over but I could see the hatred in them as she looked down at me. I didn't move a muscle; we had a staring contest as Sandra and Cate tried to push her away from me.

"You're pathetic y/n. How can you live with yourself knowing you'll never amount to nothing and that you'll never mean anything to anybody? You're truly a failure in every aspect of the word." She spat at me.

"Okay Sarah that's enough!" Sandra exclaimed breaking Sarah out of her little rant. 

I just shook my head and collected my stuff before standing up whilst wiping my eyes. Anne and Helena tried to comfort but I assured them I was fine as I cleared my throat before speaking.

"Just keep her away from the house for the night so I can pack my stuff up please. That's all I ask."

"Y/n she doesn't really mean it. She's drunk just let her sober up and you guys can talk it out." Sandra tried to bargain with me but I just shook my head as I gave her a sad smile.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you a drunken tongue speaks a sober heart."

And with that I left the bar leaving behind the life I thought  I had with the woman I had grown to love.

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word count: 872 



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