Outside the Dream (A Junjou Romantica Fanfiction)

Frail

Outside the Dream (A Junjou Romantica Fanfiction)

Chapter Sixteen: Frail

Enjoy!
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Usagi's POV:

My eyes swelled with tears. I was helpless to stop them. They flowed relentlessly as I looked down at the man I loved more than my very own life drenched in the blood pooling from the various lacerations on his body. His shirt was ripped from the wound, more specifically at the one tearing across his stomach. The one inflicted by the knife.

I cried as I rocked him.

Misaki's eyes were closed, long closed as if he'd been gone for hours. Maybe he was, and I'd just been weeping over his corpse longer than I'd imagined.

I brought one hand up gingerly from behind his head, as if not to rouse him, and brushed my thumb across his sealed eyes, never to open again. I'd never see his big green eyes opened wide, looking at the world with unfaltering optimism.

I had to see them again.

I pushed up his eyelids as gentle as I could, and I could see his eyes, a pair of irises, but they weren't his. They were not Misaki's eyes. The flecks of amber were faded, the way they glimmered at the sunlight and glistened as he talked of the things he loved were long gone. I would never see those eyes again, my Misaki's eyes.

I searched for anything to remind me of his presence, even if it was only a shred. I inhaled, and expecting his distinct scent of citrus and velvet, was met with the metallic bitter smell of blood. I touched his lips softly, and instead of feeling his plush, full lips I had such a difficult time resisting not even hours ago, felt dry, cracked, peeling patches of skin that's texture was palpable without even touching them. I listened for the sound of his soft breathing, the rhythmic inhale and exhale as he slept, but they never came. There was only the sound of my own harsh ragged breaths, which with each inhale, a shot of pain hit my chest, it was as if my body itself knew I should be the one dead here. I didn't deserve the breaths that Misaki would never inhale again. I didn't deserve the tenacious beating of my heart when Misaki didn't even have one.

***

My eyes opened before I was entirely conscious. In my head, Misaki was still dead, and I couldn't handle that for a moment longer.

I felt my hand twitch tighter around the small wrist in my grasp. I pulled my head up.

Misaki lay in the same hospital bed I left him in yesterday. There was no blood on his gown, not even a drop. Even though I knew it was a dream, I still felt the urge to check to see if he had any more alarming forms of injuries.

The soft rise and fall of his chest was the only thing keeping my sanity in check.

According to the digital clock with bright red digits I could easily see even through the darkness, it was 2:51 AM. I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands and yawned. I was still tremendously tired, but I couldn't go back to sleep. I wasn't strong enough.

Ever since Misaki woke up the day before, he'd been in and out of consciousness. I never left once. I was simply too scared to leave him alone. Takahiro was still out there, and he'd most certainly want Misaki dead. He wasn't leaving my sight.

Placing my hand atop his, I moved my thumb in soft brushing motions across his palm. He was so precious.

"Usagi..." Misaki stirred a bit, still in sleep. His eyes closed tightly and his body visibly tensed. He was having a nightmare, too.

"Misaki? Angel, I'm right here, don't worry," I scooted the chair closer to his bed and used the my newfound access to him to take his face in my hands. I traced small circles with my thumbs on his temples.

Misaki's eyes opened slowly, as if they were battling weights that pulled them down. "Usagi-san?" His bright eyes, the eyes I was in so much fear of never seeing again were watering.

"Angel, it was just a dream. Go back to sleep, I'll still be here when you wake up," I said assuringly, brushing my lips across his forehead.

He pacified at my touch, "Usagi," he repeated, but this time he did it more like a statement, like he was saying it for his own benefit as if he were having trouble believing I was really there and whatever happened in his dream wasn't real.

"You're alive..." He whispered, his eyes fluttering shut.

"Of course I am. I would never leave you alone."

"I love you...Usagi,"

"I love you too, Misaki."

And with that, the arms of sleep wrapped remorselessly around him and again, he was numb to the world.

A/N: Sorry about the short chapter, I decided tonight at 11 PM that I was just gonna finish this chap no matter what. But I did, so...yay, me. And yes, again a long wait for the chapter, but before you riot I thought I should tell you that I am up to my eyeballs in drama & BS that has been going down recently, but they should be in the up and up. Please don't hate me and thank you all for reading. I'll be back with another one, real soon.