Fury and Flame | 3

7 | 6

J A K E

      Gigi and Arlo left, having been called to the armored vehicle that would take them to the cliffs on the fortress's other side. The rest of us lingered in the tent, waiting for the war call that would lead us to charge.

"And you think you're not qualified to give speeches," Jaxon said to Delphinium.

"Perhaps I should rethink that sentiment. After all, you were on the verge of tears."

He made a face and pulled away from her. "I was not."

Riley clicked her tongue. "You boys and your masculinity. Save it for the battlefield, Williams."

At that, I peered out to the Imperium army, hazy in the morning sunlight. I had spent my life with armies of men prepared to fight and bleed and die amongst one another, but this was a new level. This was not a city-wide gang fight. This was war. And this was our last stand.

      I wasn't stupid enough to think we were invincible. Especially not when I'd gotten a look at their forces. Death was possible. Probable, even.

      Though I hadn't seen it done, I had sewn the seeds of discontent within the Club members. They would eventually turn against Hundsen. In theory, they were already mine. It was all I'd planned for.

      If death did finally come for me, I would be ready.

      Though I didn't look at her, my attention went to the assassin beside me.

      If death came for her...

      As if she knew what I was thinking, Delphinium looked up at me. I held her blue gaze, my mind at war with itself.

      And then, before I could find a reason to stop myself, I grabbed her wrist and dragged her outside. My grip felt too rough, but I didn't know how else to do it.

      "What are you doing?" She asked me, the same question repeating over and over in my own mind.

I dropped her hand as soon we we stood behind the tent, out of hearing range of the other soldiers. "There's a very high chance we're going to die today," I said, voice low. But that didn't scare me in the least. Not like this did.

      "I know."

"If either of us don't make it out..." I paused.

      What the hell was I going to say? How could I admit to her all the things I couldn't accept myself? That for some godforsaken reason, I'd begun to need her. And that nothing would be the same if she was gone.

She'd told me I was what made her feel again, but some traitorous, weak part of me wondered if she was the reason I felt anything at all. Even if just a fraction.

      I'd never done anything remotely like this. How was it done? And why did I have such a sudden, desperate need to do it? I knew myself well enough to be well aware that this was something I never wanted.

      "It's okay." Her voice was soft, gentle. I hated the way she spoke to me like I was a wounded animal. "Say it."

       This was a mistake. A mistake. But I may have been many things—just not a coward.

      "Long ago, I told you I'd burned...certain things out of myself. That this life has its cost. But sometimes I think...I don't always want to pay that cost."

      I swallowed. Licked my lips. "I don't want to feel...those things. I don't like it. I need it to stop." My voice came out fiercer than I'd intended. It felt disconnected from my body.