no regrets 。taekai 。

xviii

the ride to taemin's house was relatively quiet. jongin still sullenly looked out the window as every teenager in a coming-to-age movie should.

before they got into the cab, it took a while for taemin to get jongin to stop wailing on the floor, especially when it started to get embarassingly loud that people started to come up to ask if an ambulance had to be called. with the promise of ice cream, jongin hesitantly agreed to accompany taemin to his house so they could talk more privately.

no words had been exchanged throughout the journey and as much as taemin wanted to let jongin have his coming-to-age movie experience, he wasn't really a person who enjoyed the awkward silence that enveloped the car as a consequence.

"c'mon, what happened... is it sehun and baekhyun? i heard they came back to the company today." taemin poked jongin on the arm as an attempt in getting his attention, which was responded with a silent 'uhum'.

the older boy sighed, getting his phone out to distract him. he figured once they got his house, jongin would be more likely to open up when they were alone.

taemin guessed it wrong. even after a warm shower and a change of clothes, jongin still sat, lifeless, on the couch as a rerun of hello counselor played on taemin's big 75-inch tv.

when the atmosphere became too dense, taemin had enough. he picked up the control and muted the tv, finally making jongin look at him with furrowed brows, "aren't you going to talk? at all?".

turns out the answer was very simple. after handing jongin the pint of ice cream that he found on his freezer, jongin went back to wailing and complaining, a mess of tears and melted ice cream on his face.

"and i can't... understand why no one... understands... me!" jongin said in between sobs.

taemin sat next to the boy, patting his back gently while wondering if the silence was better than having a messy jongin stain his couch with strawberry cheesecake ice cream.

"you're not a kid anymore, eat properly." taemin furrowed his eyebrows and flinched once again as a light pink droplet came into contact with his beige nylon couch.

"leave me alone. i'm going through a crisis right now, have some sympathy." jongin sniffed loudly, the tears still streaming down his face even though he wasn't making a sound.

more sympathy than this?, taemin thought, startring at the stains on his couch, coming from jongin's sloppy way of eating ice cream while crying, "get up."

jongin looked up as taemin stood up from the couch. jongin, red-faced and glossy eyes, widened his eyes at taemin who started putting on his winter jacket and getting his keys from the counter, "where are you going?"

"we," taemin gestured between him and jongin, "are going for a walk."

"it's almost midnight, hyung." jongin let out a long groan as he put the lid back on the ice cream container.

even though the younger complained all the way from the elevator to the entrance of the building, as soon as they arrived in the park, jongin's mood erratically improved, especially when he saw the ducks on the lake.

"there are ducks here!" jongin shouted back at an unimpressed taemin, who was holding so many snarky remarks for the sake of the younger's previous bad mood.

"ducks in a lake, wow i could never have imagined that..." taemin whispered to himself before noticing the sudden silence coming from jongin, "what? what's up?"

jongin shushed taemin and put his index finger up, in a 'wait a minute' kind of way. the boy made his way over a bush and crouched behind it making taemin even more confused.

the older followed suit and with much more difficulty than jongin, he ungracefully stepped over the bush to find jongin with a gray or white cat on his lap, the lack of light making it difficult to pinpoint its exact color.

"it's a he." jongin whispered.

"why are you talking so qui-"

"shhh!" jongin slapped taemin on the shoulder, making the cat flinch, "it's only a baby."

"and what are you going to do about him? you're still living on the dorms, right?" taemin crouched and rested his face on his hands. 

jongin slowly looked up from where he was petting the cat and stared into taemin's eyes.

taemin gulped, feeling nervous for some reason.

"what."

taemin tried to keep eye contact but he was pretty sure he was already as red as a tomato.

"what?"

jongin made a face with a pleading look in his eyes. that's when realization kicked in.

"no."

"stop making that face!"

"it's a no, jongin. no!"