Taking Chances (Official Second Draft)

Chapter 15

"Naiomie.." I slowly stir. "Naiomie honey can you hear me? I need you to wake up." I open my eyes to find myself lying in a beautiful field of wildflowers, the sun is sparkling above. I feel a warm hand lift me off my back. I look over to see her.

"M-Mommy?" I stand up and engulf her into a hug. Crying softly into her shirt. "It's okay honey, let it out." I sob into her as she sways me softly. I pulled away to see her beautiful complexion sparkling within the sunlight, she smiled sweetly. "Look at my beautiful brave daughter." She motions towards my body and I look down to see the same dress I wore on my first date with Matt, the night he confessed his love to me. "I'm so confused, where am I? How are you here?" I ask in desperation. She holds out her hand to me. I grab it immediately and we walk towards a small bay of water, a bench sits on the edge of the rocks and we sit down slowly. "Honey, you went through a lot didn't you?" Still bewildered I reply. "I-I think so? Am I in a dream? What happened?" She looks over to me, blue eyes so prominent. "We don't have much time together, so let me say something, and then I'll let you say something. But, one rule, no questions. Like I said we don't have much time." My mind races as I try to focus on her. I hear the sound of the water running and the flock of thrush chirping above. She turns towards the water. "You don't remember, but this was the very first place I brought you in your stroller after you were born. I remember it was just me and you, your little eyes open so wide at the colors around you. The sounds you were taking in, everything to you was so mesmerizing. As you grew older and I had Lilian, we came here less. I began working more, and when she got sick, we stopped coming all together. But, you would sometimes come here to play. Then when your father became addicted to alcohol I used to tell you to run to the bay to keep you safe, but eventually it became a distant memory for me and I couldn't keep you safe from him. I stopped telling you to run to the bay. I couldn't even keep myself safe." She lets out a sigh. "You had to grow up too fast, deal with things that no human, especially my daughter, shouldn't have to deal with or go through. When Lilian was admitted that's when his drinking got really out of control, she has no memory of him in his abusive state. Even after the fire incident, nothing was as bad as after Lilian got sick. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and i'm so sorry I didn't leave him the second he tried to set the house on fire. That was the worst decision of my life, going back to him. We might have been able to have a normal life, without him. Lilian might have never gotten sick, it's all about taking chances in life and I gambled with the wrong one. For that I am sorry Naiomie Sky." She turns to me and grabs my hand gently. My heart drops when she uses both me and Lily's real names. "I want you to do what Lilian said and make a life for yourself. You can't stay here with me, as much as I would like you to sweetheart. I love you too much to let you stay with me." She tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. "Go on now, your turn.." She smiles that sweet smile again. "And remember no questions." I nod, sitting up trying to stop the tears that are brimming in my eyes once again. "I'm so sorry the last thing I said to you was out of anger and spite. I-I'm sorry that I never said anything to anyone about dad, if I would have said something, like you said we could have been in a different place. After the incident where I lied about the bike, I know you knew it wasn't a bike crash." I slump back into the bench. "I guess life is like a door and a window.." She looks over to me with a puzzled expression, about to say something. I smile slyly. "No questions, remember?" She chuckles softly and nods at me to continue. "Like, if we did something different it would have opened another door to different possibilities, or if we opened a window it would change an outcome. But, we have to accept what is. What our life was, and what it...well what it is now. Living without you and having to deal with living without Lily, whenever that time comes, I have to accept it, but right now I just can't. I don't want to live without either of you. I'm sorry if I let you down, if I could have stood my ground, when I didn't go to the police, did anything to put a stop to what was happening. But, I didn't and I'm sorry. I love you so much and even though what we both went through was incredibly traumatizing, you still were a good mother. You still loved me and Lily with your whole being. I do remember you telling me to run to the bay, mom. But, you weren't the one who said to stop going, I stopped going myself when you would tell me to go." I look up to her eyes, now watering. "If I was there he would have hit you less. Even if he took it out on me..I wanted to help you. I love you, and all I wanted was the best for you. I wanted to be your anchor, so I stopped going to the bay, for you. I will forever love you mommy, I will forever defend you, and live to be the best daughter you could have ever wanted. I will achieve everything Lily and you want me too." She engulfs me into a hug as we both cry. Suddenly, I feel a heaviness in my stomach. I grasp it as pain shoots across it. My mom looks over to me with a saddened expression. "It's time to go honey, I need you to be strong, you can't stay with me. Always remember that I love you." She presses a kiss to my temple and stands up. "Mommy please don't go." I cry trying to stand up but the pain is too unbearable. She looks over to me with a happy gaze, tears streaming down her face, even with a smile on her. "You will be okay, you can get through this, do not give up, do you hear me Naiomie Sky?" I nod my head. "I love you sweetie, now go, they are waiting for you."