Halal Love Stories (One-Shots)

HLS 10| Fixed Marriage

"Miss, natatakot ka bang tumawid? Kanina ka pa pabalik-balik dyan, do you need some help?"

It's been half an hour since our class had come to its end, I was standing at the side walk, staring on the pedestrial lane thinking if I should cross or just stand there for another thirty minutes, waiting for a taxi to arrived then he appeared.

If it's a normal day, I won't bother to answer pero kailangan ko nang makauwi. My father has been calling me nonstop, saying I need to go home for we'll discuss some important matters. And it made me nervous actually.

Nodding my head without looking at his face, he placed his hands inside his khaki pants.

"Hold onto my bag, and keep following me. Understood?"

"Y-yes."

It feels like forever when we crossed the street. Gripping his bag hard, I just watched his back as he cooly guided me. Not knowing that we are already on the other side.

"You can let go now."

Embarrassed, I let go of his bag and distanced myself from him.

"Th-thank you."

Was the last words I told him before leaving. As I get in the taxi, I take a glimpse of his appearance, and from that day, it never left my mind. Even though, everything has changed.

"You can't do this to me Ama! You have no rights to decide whom I should marry!"

Shouting out of anger, my tears are streaming down my face continously.

I just graduated last month, and they already want me to settle down?! Impossible. I don't even know who's the man and aside from that, I already have my man!

"Don't shout at me young lady, I didn't raise you to be this disrespectful. I get to decide who's the right man for you, and believe me, that boyfriend of yours will never be the right man for you!"

No no no, how could he do this?! Farhan loves me and he's the only person who undertands me the most. I cannot bear losing him.

"He loves me! He's the only one who's there whenever I needed someone to talk to! He's the only one who cares for me, unlike all of you!"

It hurts to see him almost crying just because of me. Those tears that I never thought will flow because of me, I was his princess, but not anymore. He stare at me longingly, his eyes are calling for me to just trust his decision.

"How could you say that to our father?!"

The house is filled with silence when my brother shouted. He never shouted at me, nor did he became angry to me.

"Have you gone mad Aliyah? You have no rights and will never have the rights to shout at the man who sacrifice too much just to keep you alive! If that man loves you, then why can't he marry you?! He's not even acting like a righteous Muslim, then how will he be able to guide you in the right path?"

Despite of knowing that what they said was true, I couldn't accept it. I don't want to accept it.

"You never know how painful it is to let you continue your relationship with that boy, Aliyah aside from the fact that I'll be accountable of it, you are too precious to be just a girlfriend of a mere human, you're my princess. But I let you, I didn't interfere with your relationship because I want you to be happy."

My heart is too heavy, feels like something is placed on top of it. How did it come to this? All I want is to be with someone I love, is it wrong?

"Tell Farhan to face me, because if he won't, I don't care if you loathe me for a lifetime bintiy, I'll marry you to someone who knows your value as a Muslimah, and that is Hamza."

With that, he left me. My father, who's been my protector is hurt because of my wrong doings. It was the most miserable moment of my life, where I thought every people I knew turn their back on me. But the truth is, I push them to do that.

"Be thankful that Ummy isn't here, she wouldn't see how stupid her princess right now."

It was painful to process everything, the tears that I brought in my father's eyes, those pain that is too hard to forget, the anger that I made my brother feel, were too much. Yet, I need to survive this day in order to save myself from the regrets of what my father will do if I'll let my negativity sorround me.

When I approached Farhan and told him about what Ama said, minus the argument part, his face turns pale, I don't know why tho. But I feel better when he smiled at me later.

"I'll-i'll talk to my parents about it luv, please don't let their words affect our relationship."

Smiling widely, I nod my head.

'See? He's ready to marry me, they're just rushing it.' I thought to myself, not knowing that those are just empty words.

Weeks after I talked to him, he started to avoid me, giving bunch of reasons why he can't come, not answering my texts and calls and not showing his face to my family.

I was ashamed, for I brag about his promise to my family not knowing that it's only me whose holding on it. Was I that ignorant? or just plain stupid? And on that point, it hit me, it wasn't me being ignorant nor stupid, it was me who's being hypocrite and denial about the fact.

"Why did you agreed?"

I suddenly asked out of nowhere.

From typing something on his laptop, he look at me with his eyebrows furrowed, confusion is visible on his pair of coffee brown eyes.

"I mean, why did you agreed to marry me? There are other girls who are willing to be your wife, yet you settled with someone like me, a sinner who had a dark past."

Playing with my hands, I lowered my head as I said it quietly.

"You never know how happy I was when your father told me that he wants me to be your husband."

"The lady whom I just watch from afar and also the content of my prayer will be my wife, it is a wonderful gift that the Almighty can give me. It wasn't happening yet, but I've already imagined our life. We'll be having our own house, you'll bear our kids, we'll take care of them together, I'll go home from work and you guys will be there to welcome me."

"Subhanallah, I was ecstatic zawjaty. Yet, it crashed when your father told me that there's a small possibility it will happen, since you insisted of marrying a certain person only. Sadly, it wasn't me."

I stared at his face as he talk about it, oblivious about the tears that are actually racing down my face slowly.

"Don't cry habibty, always know that the tests of Allah are sent in an unknown thing, people, situation and such. But what matter the most is that you repent from it sincerely and didn't plan to do it again. You may have a dark past, but who cares? It's all in the past now, the good thing about it is that it made your Imaan stronger."

"The prophet (S. A. W.) said, All the sons of Adams are sinners but the best of sinners are those who repent often. So I hope you will not let your past define you my zawja."

It's been months since my parents force me to marry the man that I don't love. Fixed marriage? surely. Not for money tho, but for my sake. Amazingly, the regret that I thought I will feel never visited me.

It wasn't easy at all, we had many arguments, well it's just me who kept on arguing with his every move and he'd just sat on the couch or stand still while listening to my rants. Hamza is a very patient and understanding man. He won't answer to me nor argue with my decision, but he will surely tell if I'm doing something wrong.

As the time passes by, I realised that Allah had granted me the man of my prayer. Tho, not by name but by character. And I guess, that's the best surprise for every human. It's the best way of showing that not all the things we want will be given to us, some are deprived from us to so that we'll learn a lesson that life could only give, and of course with the mercy of Allah.

I was listening to my husband while staring at him as he read the qur'an after we prayed salatul fajr together, I now realised where I saw him first, he's the man who once helped me cross the street, and now, he's also the one to help me to be able to enter Jannah. In Allah's will, Ameen.