Day after day, year after year he said nothing of his affection. Day after day, year after year, he watched his best friend fall in love. Day after day, year after year, he hated himself because in the end, everything that happened was his fault.
It's my choice Dick!
But no one noticed. No one noticed how far he'd fallen, and without a net to catch him, it was only a matter of time before he did something irreversible. He swallowed hard, the taste of medicine following on his tongue. He didn't need water anymore.
Today was the one year mark, and he was still alive. Something he painfully regretted. Oh so deeply. How could one small sacrifice cause so many things to go wrong?
We'll be okay, don't worry.
"I am in love with you," he whispered to the cold, winter air, breath creating small foggy clouds. His eyes blinked slowly, heavy. So easy. Just six simple words. So why could he never say them?
It's okay Dick, take your time.
None of his friends ever called him back. Dick had tried so many times. Everyday. They never showed up when invited nor when he called for help as Nightwing.
He'd been ostracized from the only people he had left. And it hurt. He just wanted to scream because it hurt so much. He wanted to scream until his throat was raw and bleeding. But he couldn't.
Nobody was there to listen. His breath hitched.
I'll always be here for you, Dick, no matter what.
They blamed him he supposed, after all, Wally wouldn't have died if Dick could've taken care of himself. If Dick had created a better plan. If he'd done more research. Wally wouldn't have died if...
If Dick hadn't been alive.
But, "I am in love with you," he whispered, oh so silently as he walked, his gait wavering every few steps. But the wind carried his words away, because no one was there to listen.
Hey, don't forget you can always call me, okay? We're best friends, remember?
It didn't take him long to reach his destination even with the small haze building up in his mind. Despite the frigid wind that fought him, Dick was used to this walk. It was long and always painful this time around, but he had to come, even if nobody wanted him too.
He'd already missed Wally's funeral. They wouldn't let him in.
I trust you. This mission will be easy, yeah?
Dick knelt -dropped- down when he arrived, the fresh snow melting into his jean's. His sobs melting into the harsh brushing of trees as the wind sailed on, creating a haunting melody.
Dick let his eyes droop down, carried by the wait of his sadness. Someone else must've visited today, as the area around him had been cleared and fresh flowers were resting gently on the stone. It looked as if it could have been a scene out of a movie, with the somber beauty of the whole thing. Phantom of the Opera perhaps? He could almost hear the tune.
You were always one for theatrics, Dick. That's what I like about you.
But it was one year today and Dick still hadn't done anything meaningful. Wally's sacrifice was a waste, like his friends -former- had been saying the whole time. Even Barry had left Dick after the first few months.
Barry had given up on trying to get Dick out of his apartment. He even stopped calling every day and let it trickle to every month or so. It hurt Dick, but he knew he wasn't helping Barry heal, he was just a constant reminder of the person he'd lost.
I'm sorry.
So little by little, Dick let the last of his relationships dwindle away, if only to make this next part easier for himself. It was selfish he knew, but didn't he deserve anything? His limbs were starting to feel like lead.
Dick, you're the best man I know, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, okay?
He let his body fall not so gracefully to the ground and stared up at the darkening sky. Even the day had begun to leave him. It knew what came next. It had seen it many times before.
I'll be back in a flash.
The snow was still cold, but Dick barely noticed, just staring upward, thinking of what had been. Of what could have been.
There's something I need to tell you, something I should've said a long time ago.
All he had to do was say six words. "I am in love with you," Dick mouthed, not allowing any sound to grace his lips. Why didn't he say them? There were so many opportunities.
A hug that lasted a few seconds to long. A sneaky smile and wandering eyes. Stray hands resting on each other. An inside joke nobody else shared. It was obvious, but he was still scared.
So many missed opportunities.
I...never mind, I'll tell you tomorrow.
The wind picked up and the rustling trees soon became a distraction to Dick's goal. They were working against him. Everyone was always working against him.
Bruce hadn't called him since their first fight on the phone. Dick could only figure it was because the man had finally deemed him worthless.
Was this really all that life had planned for Dick Grayson? Was this why his mother always told him he was so special?
Richard John Grayson of the Flying Grayson's, a coward.
Dick chuckled silently, a choked sob sneaking past at the same moment. He sat up, blinking heavily. His eyelids were doing their best to draw him into sleep. It was getting hard to think, and he was so tired.
Oh so tired.
Dick...
But, using the last of his strength, he knelt on the ground once more, bowing his head. He didn't leave a note.
There was no one here to listen.
“I am in love with you,” he whispered to the headstone before him. So easy. Just six simple words, pack full of unheard meaning.
I am in love with you.
Welp, here's this. The challenge on this was to use the words, "I am in love with you," and keep it under 1,000 words. I failed at that and used 1,005, but it's close enough.
For those of you that don't understand or are a bit confused, the italic voice is Wally, but just memories of him saying those lines.
Also, technically Dick does die at the end of this. I did my best to put tiny hints at an overdose in here. Minus actual symptoms cuz that's what authors do. Lol. But you can keep the ending ambiguous if you want.
Let me know what you think in the comments!
Also just realized the only words I used that were spoken was the "I am in love with you." Yikes.
This is a pt. 2 of Who To Blame? Which was the 1st chapter.
Til next time,
Rachel
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Borrowed Time
FanfictionHow terrible it is to love something that death can touch. How terrible it is to see someone that was once so bright, become nothing but poisonous. Living off borrowed time. One-shots and stories surrounding Dick Grayson as Nightwing, Robin, and s...