fixated past participle, past tense of fix·ate (Verb)
Cause (someone) to acquire an obsessive attachment to someone or something
Acquire such an obsessive attachment to: "it is important not to fixate on an imosity"
Tired of being the bridesmaid and...
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Jacquees was to fly in this morning, he had been gone for little over a week. There had not been much conversation between the two of us in weeks. Had my little fling with Greg, which I thought was supposed to be a one-night stand but now I'm having these strong romantic thoughts about him. He did not replicate those same feelings towards me... But what in the hell did I expect? He was a man and he did not know me long before I climbed into bed with him.
I was just a good time girl. Nothing more and nothing less.
Damn.
What in the hell did I allow myself to become?
Laying in the bed, I stared up at the ceiling, reflecting on every fucked-up thing I managed to do. From my illicit marital affair to even getting fucking married. Nicolette and Maia begged me not to marry Jacquees, but my foolish ass did it for the security.
Now do not get me wrong, I love Jaq, well I loved what I thought he could be. He's charming, intellectual, confident, educated, well-off... However, he lacked in the sack and he lacked in emotions. He could be very narcissistic... He was cold and mean, too.
But I knew all these things when I married him. This marriage was my fault because out of the two of us, I saw the trouble over the horizon but refused to derail it. Sitting up slowly, I pushed the covers back, throw my legs over the edge of my bed and sat there for a moment... Still deep into my thoughts. I needed to decide before my husband came home as to what I was going to do about all of this.
Let's face it, Greg was not good for me. Get some good dick and my stupid ass falls in love with it. Great sex does not mask the fact he's an ex-convict with nothing going for him. Plus, how much longer can I embarrass myself over him?
I jump as I feel some vibrations by my foot underneath the bed. I reach down and pat the cold, wooden floor until my hands connect with a phone.
"Huh?"
I examine it for a second, it was not my phone.
It was not Jacquees' either.
Placing palm to forehead.
"Greg..."
It had been days since he's been here, and I cannot believe he left it and did not notice it was gone. I am lost in space if my phone is gone for two seconds. Now that it dawned on me... I've called Greg! He has his phone!
"What the fu—"
I tried to turn the phone on, but that vibration must have been it powering off. Quickly, I rushed over to my charger and plugged the phone up, I was in fully investigation mode at this point.
"Teeeee!!!"
Shit!
I forgot about brunch with Nicolette this morning.
