Reviewed 9th May, 2019
This is one of my old reviews
Author: PrincessGlacierFreya
So the title of your book while too long, pretty much summarizes the book. I like it.
I read only five chapters of the book not because I did not enjoy it, but for reasons I will explain as we go on.
The summary was exactly that! Summarized the book without giving spoilers. Good work there.
Now let us get down to business. The story itself.
So the character development was okay. I like how each character was different from the other but I think maybe them having a certain habit, accent or something more to add to their character would be better.
Well, in chapter one of your story, we are told Glacier has retinoblastoma and I honestly did not know what this meant, but thank God for goggle. The point it I am sure there are some other lovelies out there who might not know the meaning of some of the terms used in your story so if you could be nice enough to tell us a thing or two about these things, we would be happy.
Also, I feel the story was based more on dialogue. I am reading a book about a blind girl because I want to know what it feels like to be blind. Tell us how she beats hee stick around when she walks. Or does she memorize the layout of the place then walks without aid of the stick? Tell us how she trips over other objects and things like that. How does she recognize people even before they speak? How does she see people? Does she imagine their hair color, eye color and the likes? Make us understand what it like to be blind!
Then there are times I just don't seem to find the flow. Maybe it has something to do with the short sentences. 'I stand. She hugs me. I sob.' Does not really look catchy. Make use of compound sentences. Put those conjunctions to use sweetie.
Now for the reason I had to stop reading.
The spacing. Everything just looked to be a mass of words and this makes it difficult for people like me to read. When there is little to no spacing, the words tend to blur together making it harder to read books.
I suggest leaving a line or two between dialogue. Spacing also makes work look presentable.
There were some errors I pointed out in the inline comments.
I liked the story though and if you edited it and put enough spacing, I would gladly go back to reading it as it is an interesting story. I love it!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
