Affair Of The Heart

*^*^*Chapter Three*^*^*

markhyucksAss

I've never really been a fan of writing lyrics, I can write the base of the song but the bridge is hard. I sat there after about an hour with no one in my room, a wine glass full to the brim as the beat my producer sent me playing on one part for the last fifteen minutes. I got up feeling my fluffy socks slide against my hardwood floors as I went over to my bed sitting down a little tipsy, my emotions out like an open book, they suggested to write about Jimin and I's break up which I immediately declined but decided to proceed with it since that's all that had been occupying my life lately.

"What...should I do?" I spoke to myself probably sounding like a mentally insane person if someone was in the room. I ran a hand through my hair feeling the stress of this song finally bubble to the top, I possibly shouldn't have signed that contract, but I did.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda that's what my old friend Sooyin would have said, but I don't have him anymore.

I feel as though i dont have anyone anymore, sometimes I sit in my room thinking what it would be like to have real friends for once. Either they want my money or are only here since I'm famous.

But I asked for that when i became an idol, I wish I could go back to smiling and being bubbly. I wish I had a lot of things, but it seems like the world doesn't like to grant me true happiness.

Maybe its my fault.

Maybe I shouldnt have fell in love with him, but everything happens for a reason.

Or it doesn't.

I'm not really too open about my feelings, honestly I tell people im fine, I act happy at meetings and around my assistant. But I'm not, sometimes I wish someone would save me from this sadness.

But no one can. Only I can.

I get up and sit down on my chair once again writing down some lyrics that bring me happiness, they help my brain to think differently about my situation. Its like a mask, a bandaid. If not treated well, it'll fall off.

And that hopefully wont happen.

I finished the lyrics and replay the song then sing along on the break of tears.

He left no time to regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy
You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black

I breath in as I take a break then go back in when the beat continues.

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to
I go back to us

I feel my chest hurt then decide to stop and get my pills feeling the orange containers curves and bumps I opened it shakily. Another thing I recently started.

I guess everything happens for a reason.

(LYRICS FROM "BACK TO BLACK" BY AMY WINEHOUSE)