Affair Of The Heart

*^*^*Chapter Four*^*^*

markhyucksAss
(JIMIN)

Today was another day of waking up and getting dressed, then the airport.

Airports used to be mysterious, new, exciting. Until we got bigger, then bigger, and bigger. People now bombard us, get into our faces, make me a little scared honestly.

I'm not scared of my fans, necessarily, but the things they do when I'm around sometimes make me nervous. For my safety and theirs.

Maybe that's just another thing all artists feel, I don't want to feel that though.

I want to go back to thinking airports were fun and new, but with time things change.

Like myself.

I changed. A lot.

Not many people notice my issues, or I think at least, it doesn't seem like they do. I deal with my anxiety, my depression, my loneliness. But you cant show that as a Idol, a male Idol.

Its just another imaginary rule that Idols face, always be happy, never be rude, be kind, never swear, don't have love towards others, sexual love. Its hard at times since I do want to be open about my relationships, new rumors came out about me and some other Idol whom I don't even know, nor met on a one to one bases.

But that's normal. I guess?

I walked towards our van that would take us to the building with paparazzi, screaming fans, and scary stalkers. But its not just me who have to deal with it, the others have to as well, and the staff. I feel terrible for them, they get all of this chaos and for what? Doing my hair or helping pick my outfits.

Its unfair. But like is unfair.

"Jungkookie, keep your hat on" Namjoon scolds as Jungkook tries to take it off to show his new hair for the upcoming era. He's supposed to keep it hidden since he never dies it, he bleached it, when we get to our distention they'll finish the coloring process since they want to let his hair not be too damaged. "We're about ten minutes away from the airport, everyone has their passports, and masks?" Namjoon hyung is always watching out for us, mostly because he's our leader. And also because he loves us.

I used to love someone too, but that didn't work out.

"Wow, lots of people this time" I say gazing out the window in amazement as we pull up to the curb, the wheels hitting the curb a bit making the stop a little bumpy, some people get their cameras ready and some fans jump around in excitement, or chat to the others. We finally get out of the car, the older hyungs filing out first then me and Taehyung, last Jungkook.

Lights immediately blind my vision making me put my sunglasses on everything though its pretty grey outside. We walk forward once our security team come and guide us through the crowd, my shoes hitting the cement making a clanging noise, the others' shoes making different noises. My arm gets brushed, my hand gets grabbed, I noticed a fan running towards us making me flinch back and Jungkook to stand next to me protectively, he has ever since our one incident. The guard next to us flings her away with his arm making her fall back and hit other fans like a bowling ball, they begin to rush us through as some fans become angry with the guard not understanding he's paid to make sure no one hurts us in anyway shape or form.

We make it to security, the men and women being polite and ushering us through, we continue down the corridors our feet hitting the marble floors making different noises, some sluggish and others energetic. Mine seem in the middle I feel. We make it to our gate for our plane immediately boarding, I sit down next to Jin hyung him already being loud and making jokes, Yoongi sits next to Tae, Namjoon next to Hobi, and Junkook by himself. He'll come to one of us soon I'm sure.

The other part I miss about airports. Is being treated like a normal person. Yes being served and treated like royalty at times can feel nice. But mostly its pretty overbearing. I miss being like any other passenger getting horrid food and bad service, being able to complain about the sleeping man next to me whom I don't know.

But thats what you get when you become a Idol. I wouldn't take anything back.

I would do it all over again, just like i would with her.