How to (Be) Tame(d) (by) A Fox

How to (Be) Tame(d) (By) A Fox

"Yahallo Yukinon!"

"Yo."

"Ah. You're already here. Good afternoon Yuigahama-san. And welcome back Hikigaya-kun."

Welcome back indeed. I haven't been in this room for a long time afterall. You see, after waking up from my long slumber (which was on my fifth day on that hospital), I had to stay at the hospital for three more days because of the several tests that have to be conducted on me, all of which were supposed to help me on my road to recovery.

After being discharged from the hospital (which was on my 8th day there), I still have to take time off from anything because, as you'd expect of someone who's been stabbed (literally), I still have to recover even if only partially. I know I may not be normal by society's standard, but by biological standards, I am perfectly normal. Even with these dead-fish eyes of mine.

I'm still human you know? My body still needs to take some time for it to fully recover you know? It's not like I'm some kind of mutant who has a body that can repair itself from almost all kind of damage in just a matter of seconds (even if it would really be awesome if I had such trait, not that I always put myself in harm's way anyway) you knowwww? [1]

And so, I have been away from school (and any activities related to it, which includes attending the service club of course) for almost a month. Which is a pretty huge amount of time considering that a school year only lasts for 10 months (at most). That's almost a tenth of the school year that I have already missed.

...

What? I can do proper math if I put my mind into it. Seriously, don't go Yukinoshita on me now.

Anyway, I would have preferred to miss the whole school year altogether. I mean, I have no intentions whatsoever of joining Japan's workforce. To work is to lose is my mantra afterall. School is just a venue where society can groom the young ones into becoming a regular functioning member of, welp, you guessed it, SOCIETY. Which isn't necessarily something I'm aiming for. But alas, I cannot just skip school no matter how pointless it may appear to be.

See, my ultimate dream is to become a full-time househusband. And for that to have a chance of becoming reality, I need to go to school.

And would you please stop it with those doubtful eyes of yours? I'm not just spouting some bullshit you know.

...

Who am I talking to again?

Anyways, to continue my point, in order for me to advertise myself as househusband material, I need to build up some credit. By that, I mean credentials. I must be able to advertise myself as someone smart, capable (of doing housework, and satisfying my future wife's needs *wink*), and investment-worthy. If you were a woman who's loaded and has the power to snag any guy as your husband, would you even consider marrying a worthless good-for-nothing? Nope. Nada. 108% no. Even I wouldn't date me if I was a good-for-nothing. And that's saying something considering I truly, wholeheartedly, 108% completely love myself.

And so for that reason, I had to resume going to school.

That and Hiratsuka-sensei threatened to punch me. Specifically on the part of my body that was stabbed. And she would do it more than once. More than twice. More than thrice even! I'll do it over and over until you've learnt you're lesson she said.

Can someone just please take her already? So that she could be physical with someone else? Please?

No?