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I love you

"How did you know?" she asked me while taking a sip of her Caramel Frappuccino which I got her on my way to Blackpink's dorm. She was all alone because the other three decided to visit their family and hang out with friends. 

"What do you mean?" I asked surprisingly. I kinda knew what she was talking about but I didn't want to speak before she confirms what Mingyu told me the other day. 

"That I wanted to quit," she answered calmly, her eyes never leaving mine.

At first, I didn't say anything but as her gaze was so strong, I couldn't hold it in anymore. 

"I heard it from Mingyu," I admitted.

"I see."

"Are you angry?" I asked her after a few minutes passed and we still sat in complete silence.

"No, I'm not Jungkook. I'm grateful, since it's the reason I chose to stay" she stated and gave me one of her wide and sweet smiles. 

I loved her smile. It made my heart beat faster and I felt a whole ZOO in my stomach just by looking at her happy face. She had a huge impact and sometimes I thought that saying "I love you" was too little in comparison what I really felt. 
I adored her to be honest. With every ounce of my being to be exact. 
As I watched her happily enjoying the sweet drink, I couldn't help but think about all the things I wanted to say to her. 
How much I love her and how much she means to me. I knew very well that my jealousy could be too overwhelming, I knew that my possessiveness could be too much to handle but it was all because I was afraid. 
I feared that I might lose her and her wanting to leave the industry without even telling me, really opened my eyes. 

"Why didn't you tell me that things got too hard to handle?" I asked her slowly.

"It's not like I didn't want to tell you, but you were too busy. You trained every day, barely spoke to me and even when you did you fell asleep after a few minutes," she said quietly.

"I'm so sorry Lisa," I apologized, my heart tearing apart as I through about all the pain and loneliness she had to face without having anyone to turn to. 
Of course, she had her members and her other friends but as her boyfriend I should have been the one standing by her side.

"It's okay, Jungkook," she said and gave me one of her sad smiles.

"No, it's not. But I promise to improve Lisa. I love you so much, I can't even put it into words," I said, tears leaving my eyes. "The feeling I have towards you overwhelm me sometimes, it feels unreal because I never knew that I could possibly feel this way. I know that there will be a whole bunch of obstacles on our way, but this time I promise you, you won't be alone. I won't allow anything like this to happen ever again." 

Even though Lisa wasn't namby-pamby, I could see tears sliding down her cheeks, so I moved towards her and hugged her tightly. 

We stayed like that for a few minutes, and when we parted, she said: "It was hard for me, really hard. I trained for five years in order to succeed, to find my place under the starts but it seemed like I was never good enough, it seemed like people just couldn't except me. I didn't want to bother any of you but the comments and letters just became too much for me to handle. It was the first time in my life that I started to doubt myself." 

I looked at her, her sad and thoughtful expression broke my heart little by little.