Exile

-Chapter Four-

Weakness?

I was his weakness? I stiffened and racked my brain for something, anything to say. I drew a blank.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to fight off memories of that night. Nothing helped.

~

It was a cold December night. The breeze was rattling the ragged curtains that were filled with holes. I had gotten the fire started as much as I could, but it provided meager heat.

Harmony was asleep in my lap, Liam and I were playing tic-tac-toe in the dirt. All was right in the world.

"Okay, okay. You must be like, an expert or something." Liam laughed, throwing his hands in the air as I beat him for the fifth time.

Suddenly, the door swung open. My mother stood, basking in the moonlight. Her eyes were bloodshot and she had bruises covering her body. Her limp dress hung off her small frame loosely as she sauntered towards me. "Ivory," she spoke in a rough voice. She was drunk. No telling what could happen.

I bent down to Liam. "Take Harmony and run into the nearest shop. Do not come home until dawn, you hear me?" I whispered. Liam nodded and scooped up baby Harmony. He ran out the door kicking up dust with his bare feet.

I gulped and turned my attention towards Mother. "Yes?" I squeaked.

"Let me tell you a thing or two about men. They will use you, abuse you and are nothing but no good dogs," Mother grabbed me by the shoulders, her face close to mine. She smelled like whiskey and roses. "Darling, don't you dare, ever, ever fall in love with anyone but me, and your siblings. Love is nothing but a weakness and will bring you down. No child of mine will fall in love. Men are nothing but boys in suits. Love should be nothing but the dirt on the bottom of your shoe. You hear?"

I nodded. "Yes Mother."

"I love you, Ivory. Never let your guard down, my little fighter. Every day is a battle that has yet to be won." Mother said, walking back out the door.

I ran to get Liam without another thought.

~

The smell of Fin being so close, sage, ash and pine was still of the tips of my nostrils.

I knew it was my new favourite smell.

No. Never fall in love. Look what it did to Mother.

When I didn't respond, Fin cleared his throat and sat up straight.
No. I thought. I'm sorry. I just can't say it back.

Fin opened the door, and my heart began to ache. I thought he was leaving me. He hopped in the driver's sear and saluted to two men.

"Remember to take this baby back to Union Square when you've dropped her off. Good day, Cadet." The man saluted again and stalked off towards the Barracks. Fin started the engine again and sped off.

"You can take the ropes off now, Ivory Elise." He said, his voice icy. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, struggling for something to say to Fin.

As I undid the weak knot tie, I began ro speak. "Fin, I hope you understand--"

Fin laughed a deep laugh. "Of course, I understand. I felt strongly about you. You didn't feel the same. I guess I was delusional. Who could ever love a boy this broken? Trust me, I'm used to the feeling." Laced between Fin's sad words was a small hint of sarcasm. I guess that's how he hid the pain. Humor.
Who could ever love a boy this broken? Who could ever love a boy this broken? Who could ever love a boy this broken? Fin's words rang out in my skull, over and over.