Secrets Within Us (Jikook)

SEVEN

Submersion. Inhalation. The boy had severe difficulty of breathing due to the lack of air in his throat. Water obstructed his airways, lungs filling as he suffocated from the inside out. The feeling of being trapped underwater was overwhelming. The young male thrashed around aimlessly, his small hands turned into fists and he thumped on the submerged car window. Park Jimin was trapped in the car, the car was in the lake.

The boy was running out of oxygen, he tugged at the seatbelt trying to pry it off. The man's lungs were screamed for air, beginning to take a breath and his body was starting to shut down. The male wanted to scream and he wanted to cry but all could do was sit back and wait for the darkness to consume him, to take over his mind, his body and his soul. There was a time when this man would have do anything to live, but as the darkness clouded his vision and his breathing halted to a stop, the only thing he could thing about was the man he had tried to save. If this was the beginning of the end then dying in the place of someone he loved...to save someone he loved was surely the best way to go.

Accidental death. Driving his car off of the bridge and into the water was as far from accidental as you can get. And the silver haired male had done that, sitting in the drivers seat of that familiar black Mercedes with harsh shaky breaths. The brown haired dominant stood in front, beginning and pleading for rational. Jimin had been unable to contain his emotions, tears streaming painfully down his sore and red cheeks. One hand gripped the steering wheel, one foot on the peddle. The younger took a sharp breath, eyes closed, squeezed shut and he wished for someone to save his darkened soul.

Jeon Jungkook dropped to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably as the car crashed through the wooden fencing and smashed into the water with the loudest thud. His large muscular hands gripped his shirt, clawing at his aching heart. Water settled, a silence filled the air. One minute the car was stationary, the next minute it was submerged into the lake, it all happened so fast. And then there was a silence, the air was still. Park Jimin would die peacefully, dying in the place of his lover.

Shooting upright, the man's body shook uncontrollably and his face was swollen, red. The boy's surroundings were familiar, from the familiar darkness to the familiar smell. This was Jeon Jungkook's bedroom and much to his surprise Jeon Jungkook was sleeping peacefully next to him, his body huddled lazily underneath the soft silk sheets. The younger male was sobbing, his body ached and the last thing he could remember clearly, was having a conversation about how much his body did ache. He had laid back into the comfort of the warmth, squeezed his eyes shut and wished that things would get better. The darkness had controlled his thoughts and he was helpless, submerged in water, inhaling liquid into his lungs. Gasping for breath he had banged on the window, desperation driving him to fight for his life. The silver haired man had no logical reason or explanation as to why he would drive the car off the bridge into the lake and he had no reason to feel like that was something he would do, but for some reason he felt like he had done the right thing. Jimin could still remember the feeling of water suffocating him and he clutched at his chest desperately trying to remove the pain that now felt very real.

"H-help me. Make it stop!" Jimin screamed, clutching at his shaking body.

"Jimin?" Jungkook's husky voice mumbled sleepily.

"Make it stop!" He screamed once more, ear piercing sobs escaping his lips. The boy was struggling to erase the pain and it almost felt like he was loosing complete control.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Jimin!" Jungkook yelled, wrapping his arms around the shaking body and pulling him as close as possible. "It's okay. It's okay. Ssshhhh it's okay."

"N-no it's not.....it's not....I d-died for y-you...how will that ever be okay?" Jimin stuttered, more tears spilled out of his eyes and for some reason he couldn't stop his body from shaking.

"What nonsense are you talking about now baby...no one has died." Jungkook whispered, kissing the boys neck.

"I- I died. I drove my c-car off the bridge and into the water and I- I didn't even try and save myself. For some reason I- ....I- it felt like the right thing to do...but I can still feel it....I can still feel the water in my lungs I-" Jimin choked.

"Sshhhhhh Jimin baby it was just a bad dream...no one is driving any car off any bridge." Jungkook soothed and even though he was right because the crash was not real. Jimin was not convinced. There was a small part of him that hoped everything he had just experienced was a dream, a fragment of his fucked up imagination but there was a large part of him that hoped if he was to die tomorrow he would die in place of the person whom he loved. Wouldn't that be a rather romantic way to go...in the place of someone he loved?

If I die, I want to die on my own terms, knowing that my death had meaning, knowing that I died for all the right reasons, Jimin thought to himself as he dared to close his eyes for the second time. I want to love someone so much that when the time came to choose I would choose to save them over myself, I want to feel loved enough that if there was a choice to be made I would never make them choose...I would choose, I would do it for them. Isn't that what love is? Isn't love, sacrifice.

That entire scenario got Jimin wondering what kind of situation would have resulted in the sacrifice being death. What kind of fucked up ordeal would have had to have gone down in order for him to have made the choice of death over life and why would any of those things have involved Jeon Jungkook. Jimin had never in a million years ever thought about the possibility of being involved with Jungkook, at least not when it came to the word love. Yet, now that he was faced with the alternative scenario of him potentially being in love with Jungkook, in love to the point that he would kill himself for this man Jimin couldn't help but feel like that was something special.

Or maybe it was just fucked up. Maybe Jimin had been manipulated to the point that he would actually end his own life to satisfy the other. That was a possibility but even thinking about it Jimin knew this was not the case. The emotions he felt when in death, even if it wasn't real, the emotions he felt were pure and he truly felt loved. He killed himself for love. Maybe in an alternate universe Jeon Jungkook is capable of love.

Incoherent thoughts swirled around Jimin's brain as the darkness began to cloud his mind and he could feel sleep taking over. Soon his eyes were closed and as he dreamt the only thought that crossed his mind was that the dream was real.

And maybe it was.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Proof Read <3