After Jay left, I laid crying on the floor of my entryway for a while, feeling sorry for myself. I have never felt such pain and heartache in my entire life. I lost everything today. My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend I should say) hates me for lying to him and my best friend (ex-best friend here again) chose to take the side of his lying-ass bitch of a girlfriend rather than believing me, his closest friend. Knowing that he'd rather lose me than her is what hurts the most. I really thought I meant more to him, but apparently I was wrong. I'm left with my heart ripped out of my chest while he's still fucking her as if nothing ever happened. My entire body is still shaking from heartache and anger. Why am I the one losing everything, when all of this is his fault? The more I think about it, the angrier I'm getting. I'm so mad at Brad for being such a shitty friend, but mostly for making me believe he cares about me and our friendship when obviously he doesn't give a shit about it. I finally pull myself together and grab my car keys before driving straight to Brad's place, tears still blurring my vision. I don't care if I end up crashing my car. I don't have anything to live for anymore anyway. I have lost everything I cared about. I park in front of his place, not paying attention if Ashley is there or not, and bang on the door. It suddenly opens on Brad looking surprised to see me on his doorstep. I have to gather all my willpower not to punch him in the face after what he's done.
"Fuck you", I say as I poke a finger on his chest. "FUCK YOU! You ruined everything, you destroyed the only good thing I had in my life"
"Woah, what are you talking about? What happened?", he says, a very concerned look on his face as he takes a step closer to me, but I immediately back up. "Em what's going on?" he asks, worried.
"Are you fucking kidding me?! As if you don't know!", I continue to scream at him. "What do you think happened after your girlfriend told Jay I've been faking? Why did you have to tell her?"
"What?", he asks, clearly not believing me. "Why would Ash tell him that? Wait, hold on. Did he finally find out? Did he break up with you because of that? Look, I'm sorry for whatever happened between you two, but she had nothing to do with it"
"Oh my God, you really don't believe me, do you?", I say, realizing he truly doesn't. "Fuck, how can you be so blind? How can you let her manipulate you like that? Are you that fucking stupid?!"
"It makes no fucking sense!", he yells back at me. "What reason would she have to tell Jay? What could she possibly gain from it? Seriously, you've gotta stop blaming her for whatever the fuck is going on between you and that moron. It's not her fault he can't use his dick and is too fucking dumb to see you're faking. It shouldn't have taken him so long to figure it out anyways"
I can't believe the person in front of me is my best friend. How can he say things like that? How can he care so little that Jay broke up with me? All of this is happening because of him, and yet he still doesn't believe me. How can he choose to believe her over me? How can she manipulate him so well without him realizing it? Or does he just not care about me at all? Maybe that's the reality of things. Our friendship never meant anything to him. I never meant anything to him.
"Wow...", I say, realizing our 16-year friendship is officially over. "You're a fucking asshole. I can't believe you don't believe me. So what, I'm a liar? That's what you're saying, right? I made it all up, pretended your psycho girlfriend messaged Jay to tell him what you were not supposed to tell her in the first place because that's what I do, isn't it? I make up lies like that to get attention"
"That's not what I said"
"But that's what you think. You don't believe me. Me who you've known practically your entire life. You're willing to throw away our friendship for what? A good fuck?", I say, disgusted by the way he's acting. "But you know what, if she's as good in bed as she is at manipulating you, then I get why you prefer to believe her"
"Can you fucking blame me?", Brad snaps. "Have you heard yourself lately? What you're saying is nonsense. She's not the fucking bitch you think she is"
How can he be so blind and ignorant about his own girlfriend? How can he not see what's happening? She has him in the palm of her hand, and I realize that there's nothing I can do to make him open his eyes.
"I've always been supportive of your choices Brad, always. I've stopped myself from telling you what I really thought about her because you're my best friend, and I respect your choices. But you're so deep under her spell you don't even see what's happening here. She doesn't want me in your life, she sees me as a threat for some reason and is doing everything she can to destroy our friendship. Open your eyes B, because so far she's doing a great job at it"
"Why do you have to make everything about yourself?" he answers, crushing my heart even more than it already was. "She had no reason to tell Jay, exactly as she has no reason to try and destroy our friendship. You're managing that pretty well yourself. And face it Em, if Jay finally figured out you were faking, it's on you, not on her", he adds as I stand there without being able to move or answer anything. I can't believe those words are coming out of his mouth. "You shouldn't have lied to him for so long anyway. Obviously he was gonna find out eventually. Stop blaming her for everything that's wrong in your life and take your responsibilities for once. She's not the reason you and Jay broke up. You faking cuming every time you two had sex is. But maybe now you can find a guy with an IQ superior to 50, and finally experience what a good fuck is because clearly you're in desperate need of that"
I'm stunned. Never in my life would I have imagined Brad saying those words to me. What's happening? I have to bite my tongue hard not to burst into tears again. I can feel the bitter taste of blood spreading in my mouth.
"I never thought the person who'd hurt me most would be you. But you know what? You're right on one thing. This is my own fault. It's my fault for trusting you, for thinking I could open up my heart and share intimate details about my life with my best friend. So yeah, that's on me", I say as I turn around and walk down the doorsteps before turning back to him. "I really hope she's worth it because you lost me to keep fucking her. But I'm just an attention whore who makes everything about herself anyway, right? So I guess you're not losing much", I continue before marking a quick pause. "I don't want to ever see you again", I finally say before walking away, bumping into Tris who was coming back from wherever.
"Hey Em", he says not realizing what just happened between Brad and me. I don't answer and walk towards my car where I finally break down in tears after doing my best not to in front of Brad. I've truly lost everything and it all still feels like a nightmare. Brad has never behaved that way towards me. I don't even recognize him anymore. Who is he? Certainly not my best friend. Ashley has really won, and all I'm left with are tears to shed. I drive straight to my parents' place, my apartment being the last place I want to be at. I have too many memories with Jay and Brad there. Plus, I need a shoulder to cry on and mom's would do just fine.
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FRIENDS - BWS
Fanfiction"Don't even try to deny it", she spat at me. "I see the way you look at Brad, the way you talk to him as if you two are the only ones in the room. You're constantly around him, craving his attention. It's pathetic". "Wow, I'm pathetic? Yet I'm not t...
