Druggie

Loseing Battle

“Fuck ,” I mutter staring up at my celling , I grab a fat blunt from the draw of my nightstand lighting it careful not to burn myself . I take a hit letting my muscles relax and my stress melt away for a brief moment. I grab my notebook and my phone from my dresser across the room the sunset peering into my room . The off white walls accented by the blue purple and pink everything maybe it wouldn’t have been so bright I would have cared so much more . I think of Finn as I melt away like a scoop of ice cream on a hot day . Off in lala land I turn on my Nickelback vinyl and dance around my room  picking out clothes to where Finn still vividly on my mind . I wanna impress him , I think of the last time I wore nicer clothes , it was the death of my little brother Jack we had the same mom just not dad . Jack always wanted to be an actor and loved me so much , like I loved him we were the only family left of each other . Jack died last year of a drug overdose. I still do drugs like candy because it happens to be my only escape . I think of the week after he was buried I held onto my necklace the last one he got me. I ran my thumb over his name I had engraved after he passed . The silver chain has now turned an ugly brown color , however the pendent of him and it still looksSoon enough the clock struck five o’clock , my heart started racing at the thought of Finn . My foster mother acted like she had never done anything wrong like everything had been normal . I put on my fake smile and ran downstairs where my foster mother Ellienor had prepared lasagna from scratch . I never understood how she could cook for others but never herself or me. 

I saw she was wearing a spaghetti strap dress that highlighted her tits and curves . She called me a slut yet I don’t doubt she has looked in a mirror lately. Although if she did she probably would have cracked or broken the goddamn thing with how ugly she looks .