Stay with me

Chapter 15 - While I'm breathing!

- Why? Asked Defne.

She clasped his head in her hands and looked into the dark eyes. There was so much desire, frustration, а torment in them that it ached in her chest. Defne from the past screamed:

"Submit! Surrender to him. After all, you know - his hands and lips will lift you into the sky..."

"And then you fall to the ground," recalled the current one.

Defne spoke. Hoarse, feverish.

"I want to be sure." Do you understand? To be sure that this is forever. That after a night in heaven we won't part away again. As it always happened before. I want solid ground under my feet. When it is unsteady ... the love of bodies does not solve problems.

Omer repeated her gesture. Likewise, he wrapped his big hands around her face. His voice echoed her voice:

- Tell me! Explain what to do or tell for you to believe?

- I do not know! - a tear rolled down her cheek and hid under Omer's palm. She lowered her hands, and they hung limply along by their bodies. - I want to believe it! More than anything, I want to believe you!

With all his strength, he pressed her head with her ear to his chest.

- Listen! If you do not believe my words, believe my heart. It beats only for you. Defne - in you is my whole world. Passionis, my home, the comfortable life — I don't need anything without you — his hands became soft, careful. They slid affectionately over the head and shoulders of Defne. - You know, once I was able to survive the death of my parents. But if you leave me ...if you will not forgive me ... if you give up on me ... That I cannot survive. I can't do it without you!

Omer felt the t-shirt on his chest soaking in hot moisture. Defne's tears poisoned his soul. But at the same time, instilled hope. His girl got out of the ice shell. Again she opened her heart to feelings and desires. And that means ... that means she will understand him. Believe and come back. And they can finally breathe deeply and start living.

He raised her face to himself, carefully wiped away the tears, and stepped back a step. Corrected the disheveled red strands and, not hiding in his voice love and tenderness, said:

"I want you so that everything is trembling inside me." Not just the body. I want you all. I want your thoughts and desires. I want to talk to you, laugh. Breakfast and dinner. Walk in the evenings along the promenade. Paint. Fall asleep and wake up in the same bed. Waking up, the first to see your face and kiss your warm shoulders - his fingers stroked the fragile collarbones and thin hands of Defne. A shiver ran through her body. "I won't put pressure on you now." I'll step back ... Go back to your apartment, look around and think - is this the life you want? Living in the gloom, without joy and happiness just because you are afraid of a new possible pain? Or take a chance, and return happiness to yourself ... and to me.

Thoughts were confused in her head. Omer's voice sounded in her temples like hammer blows. Each word was repeated with multiple echoes and turned the soul. Defne, as in a dream, went to the sofa, put her feet in her shoes, threw the handbag strap on her shoulder and went to Omer, who had not moved. He stood motionless and only his black eyes blazed wildly. She raised herself on tiptoe, kissed his cheek and silently left.

Omer came out next. He leaned on the railing of the balcony and tensely caught all the sounds that were so clearly heard in the night. When a door slammed down below and heard a key turning in a lock, he closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath of fresh night air and returned to his room.

The night promised to be too long...

In the morning, Оmer thought he was getting a deja vu. Again he hit his head on the showerhead. Again, with difficulty, he found the right clothes and poured disgusting coffee into the sink. Again Defne refused to have breakfast with him and as soon as he went out to the Mercedes waiting at the door, Sabrina appeared. With the only difference being that instead of a tray with burek, in her hands was a jug with a brownish-green liquid, from the one look of which Omer got sick. Again Defne laughed playfully at his attempts to get rid of the annoying girl and her treats, and then she kicked her heels to the taxi, and an evil Omer sat alone in the back seat of his car. Once again, the local gossipers laughed at Sabrina's unsuccessful attempts to get the new neighbor.