bloody witch ~ ( stanley barber )

000

( i'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby )

prologue

SOMETIMES, CHRISTOPHER SUTHERLAND FELT LIKE HE WAS DROWNING. Drowning in something thick, something heavy, something blinding and rancid. He felt like he couldn't breathe sometimes, like his chest was tightening excruciatingly, and only one mysterious thing was to blame.  

Or, Chris pretended it was something mysterious, at least. He knew exactly what was causing these bursts at the most terrible of times. A thing, something big and bright and clear. Something Chris knew way too well, but would never admit.

And a person. A person tall and toned and just the biggest asshole in the world. A person who had something of a homophobic history, keen on jokingly calling Chris a 'little queer' when he stares too long in the locker room before a football game.

Bradley fucking Lewis.

Bradley and his stupid gelled back hair, his dumb muscles and idiotic fucking voice. Chris loved all of that, and he couldn't tell you quite why.

Christopher Sutherland met Bradley Lewis when they were five years old, little kids with nothing else to do in little Brownsville, Pennsylvania. They'd both been in the same kindergarten class, taught by Mrs. Johnson, and all they'd done was become complete nuisances side by side. Chris would speak up, say something gross or inappropriate and earn all the attention from the teacher and the other kids while Brad would do something along the sidelines, often ruining something in the classroom. They'd both get time out together, and it was only more time for them to scheme.

They became best friends, officially, in the second grade. Chris had been pushed off the monkey bars by Ricky Berry, scraping up his knees and elbows. He hadn't cried. He knew it would make it all worse, so all he had done was turn to Ricky, call him a "fuckwad"- a term Chris had so graciously learned from his father- and storm away, bloody and all. Bradley Lewis had caught up with Chris and asked him if he was okay. Brad had expressed true concern, and had even walked Chris to the nurses office and promised he'd beat Ricky Berry's "no good ass." Brad never did beat Ricky up, but instead invited him to him and Chris's lunch table in the cafeteria. Chris and Brad had become best friends that day, and Ricky Berry had joined in despite it all, because Chris couldn't refuse Brad even then.

Chris had stuck with Brad for years, even when Brad became something else, something crueler and stronger. Even when Brad started gripping Chris's shoulder tight in his grip and making eye contact, telling him that, really, truly, he was his best friend, but he couldn't hang out with him just the two of them anymore. Brad thought it looked too gay. He thought people would speculate, throw rumors at them that would hurt their popularity. Chris would laugh forcefully, shove Brad away from him and mumble something along the lines of "you think I'm a homo, Lewis?"

Of course, Chris didn't want to lose their popularity much either. It would mean losing everything Chris was, the whole persona he had created thread by thread for himself over the years. And Chris didn't want that one bit. Who the fuck would Christopher Sutherland be without the popular title?

Chris and Brad had tried out for the football team in their freshman year of high school together, and Chris hadn't wanted to initially. Chris wasn't good with sports and he didn't want to watch Brad get a ton of cheerleader groupies, or worse, get some himself, because girls just weren't really his thing, and he hoped to God that they weren't Brads' thing either. Brad had convinced Chris pretty quickly, though. They had both gotten in, and Brad had been so excited- hugging Chris and yelling that he could kiss Chris's stupid face- that Chris couldn't help but be excited as well.

It turned out that Chris was pretty damn good at football- better than Brad, even, but Chris didn't believe that, it had only been brought up by their Coach once or twice- and he'd been jammed up to varsity in his freshman year and deemed quarterback. Brad had not been brought up to varsity until his sophomore year, and Chris would try his best to comfort Brad, nod along when Brad would point at him and tell him that he isn't even that good at football and doesn't deserve such a thing the way that he does.

But soon enough, they were playing football together basically 24/7. Chris never really got to spend time with Brad alone, and Chris knew the reason why. But he missed it, of course. He missed getting to sit down with his best friend and tell him things, have slow prolonging conversations. Brad opted for the "safe" stuff, which only meant hanging out together in a group of four or more other people. Chris was okay with it, he supposed.

Now they were in their senior year of high school, still going strong on the football team and still, Chris hoped, best friends. Brad had gotten himself a girlfriend, and Chris tried to even out his crooked jealousy dripping smile everytime he saw her. Dina was pretty and nice, and it made it so much harder to hate her guts. She had been nothing but sweet to Chris in the times they had spoken, and Chris felt terrible that he had even thought of her as just another one of Brads flings.

They'd only been dating a few days, maybe less, and Chris just didn't understand it. Brad had always said relationships weren't his thing, and Chris hadn't thought twice about it.

Relationships weren't Chris's thing either, but to any person who knew the quarterback Chris Sutherland he flaunted at school, that would seem like a huge lie. Chris had gotten himself a girlfriend a month before Brad had gotten himself one, but only because he was tired of the way everyone on the football team teased him about how he'd never had a girlfriend before and how all his hook ups seemed fake- which they were, of course- and it drove Chris up the fucking wall because when the hell did it become those dickheads business?

Delilah Henderson was an angel, really. Chris felt bad about leading her on, telling her he really liked her in front of the entire school so people would just stop with the speculations, the ones where people thought maybe the stupid jock was a fairy boy. Chris didn't really like her, and that was a horrible thing to do and he knew it. He thought she was pretty and sweet, and she seemed to really like Chris, so what could he do about it? Chris could get through high school faking a relationship he didn't want to be in. He could fake his whole life if he wanted to. He could marry Delilah Henderson one day if he thought it would strengthen his facade, have kids and die with her by his side. He didn't have to tell her, or anyone for that matter, the truth. Not if he was careful.

Brad loved Dina, maybe more than he loved Chris, and sure it made Chris feel even worse, but he couldn't do anything about it. All Brad wanted to talk about with Chris was their stupid fucking girlfriends, and Chris wanted to scream at him that his entire life was just a fake, that he was fucking eating himself up inside over it because, Jesus, what the fuck is he gonna do?

Chris did not love Delilah Henderson. Chris loved Bradley Lewis. But Bradley Lewis was the farthest thing from attainable.

Bradley Lewis would break Christopher Sutherland's heart eighty times over, and Chris doubted there would be anyone there to pick up the pieces.

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A/N: my new book is finally here lmao!! i actually really like this prologue I will not lie. and I know we all hate Brad but I promise I'm not making him a nice guy lmao he's gonna be a total dickhead in this story (spoiler) 🥰🥰