In the Darkness

Dream

"I'm sorry, but your sister was found dead this morning." Hoseok heard, choosing to reject the words that were being said to him. It was impossible, his sister, his lovely Dawon, couldn't be dead. Hoseok knew it had to be a nightmare, a terrible dream that he hoped would soon end.

His mind started to feel faint and hazy. A low echoing sound of children screaming in the distance popped into his mind.

"Hoseok likes Baek-Hyun! Hoseok likes Baek-Hyun! He's a freak! He's a freak!" One of his classmates teased thirteen-year-old Hoseok as they were in the cafeteria of their small school. There was this boy, Baek-Hyun, was his name. Hoseok knew, deep within himself, that he was attracted to this handsome boy but chose to ignore it as he was confused by his feelings. He also knew what it meant. It meant that he was gay, but then the idea of going out with a girl didn't sound unpleasant to him. It was a bundle of emotions that he didn't know how to deal with, and he was scared. Scared of being rejected by the people he cared about the most in this world.

"Shut up!" Hoseok yelled back, clenching his fist so tightly on the cafeteria table that his knuckles turned white.

Even though he was one of the most popular kids in school, it didn't save him from being teased by others. So what if he had a small crush on Baek-Hyun? So what if he liked someone of the same gender? Should gender really matter when it comes to loving someone? Shouldn't their personality determine their value and not their gender? Hoseok was tired of being teased and hated that he was starting to get singled out by his peers for being open about himself.

That day Hoseok went home crying, his cheeks were stained with tears, and his nose was a shade of red.

On his way home, he thought that maybe it wasn't a good idea to express how he felt towards his classmate. Maybe he should hide his true self? Just so he could live his school days in peace, not living with the fear of being harassed due to the emotions he had developed for Baek-Hyun, who just happened to be a guy. Or maybe he should be open for the first time in his life and let those who really cared about his happiness demonstrate their devotion and understanding towards him? It was a complex problem, and he wished he knew the answer to his questions.

"Seokie! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Dawon's sweet and caring voice brought him back to reality. Hoseok was standing in the front entrance of their home, looking down at his shoes. He knew that he had to take them off and put on his slippers before getting inside, but the memories of his day at school prevented him from doing so.

"N-no..." he whispered, his gaze never leaving the ground. Hoseok knew if he looked at his sister straight in the eyes, the bundle of emotions he had been trying to suppress would float back out in an instant. He could never hide anything from her, even if he wanted to. Hoseok knew he shouldn't bother her with his problems, which he thought were insignificant.

"Seokie...I know when you are lying to me. Look at me right now! What happened? Did someone bother you at school?"

"No..."

"Then, what's wrong?" He heard, feeling his face being pushed upwards by his sister's soft fingers. And so Hoseok was met with the worried expression on Dawon's face, he couldn't hold it in anymore. He launched himself forward, and hugged his sister tightly, wrapping his arms around her waist. He buried his face on her neck, finally letting out the warm tears that had threatened to come out just a few minutes ago.

He cried and cried, and he didn't know for how long but Hoseok felt safe knowing that Dawon would never let go of him, she only tightened their embrace in the act of comfort. And Hoseok knew he was in the safety of somebody who cared about him and would never judge him for who he was and who he loved.