In the Darkness

Poker Face

Trigger warning ⚠️: Violence, Attempted murder, choking.

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Namjoon felt like he was in a trance-like state as if he was inside a Twilight Zone episode. The world felt like it was spinning around and around, and he couldn't stay focused on the person who was in front of him. Everything he just heard felt like a dream, it had to be a dream or more like a nightmare that he wished wasn't true, but it was. Hoseok's sister was dead. Murder by some unknown bastard that didn't take pity on her and left her on the ground like if she was some kind of chewed up gum.

Namjoon wanted to move but he couldn't. His whole body paralyzed by the words he just heard. Namjoon wanted to scream and cry at the top of his lungs but his throat felt dry that he couldn't even utter a single word. Namjoon wanted to destroy everything that was on his way to relieve some of his pain but he had no strength to do so.

The only person that came to his mind was Hoseok. Their sweet and cheerful Hoseok who had been enduring such a deep pain in his heart for days and everyone was clueless about it. Namjoon wondered how his teammate did it? How was Hoseok able to laugh and act as if nothing happened? As if everything was okay?

He could feel the prick of his eyes pooling with tears, his vision had become blurry and his heart felt too tight on his chest. How was he supposed to confront Hoseok about such a sensitive topic? When he had no idea how to make the pain go away...

"Namjoon?" The worried and soft voice of his boss snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" He replied in terror, looking down with the humiliation of not knowing about the agony Hoseok was going through.

"He didn't tell you, did he? I knew I should have talked with him about it." His boss added, making Namjoon feel like he had let them all down, especially Hoseok. And wondered if he should be ashamed of himself for being the leader of the group... when he was so oblivious to the truth.

"N-no..."

"So, what do you want to do now that you know? Do you want to take care of it, or should I intervene? I usually let you guys sort things out, to strengthen the bond of the group, but...but this is different. We are talking about the death of someone who was dear to one of you guys. If you want, I can talk with everyone, although I'm not sure how Hoseok will react. He refused to talk with me after the police informed him of her death." PD Bang said to him, furrowing his eyebrows in frustration, and Namjoon wondered what if Hoseok was planning on never telling them? What if his teammate was going to pretend that nothing happened and move on? A lot of questions were going through his mind, but he knew he had to make a decision and soon, or else, Hoseok's mental health could suffer.

"Umm, I think...I'll talk with Hoseok first, and then we'll tell the rest of the members. This is probably a devastating time for him, and I know he wouldn't want to be put on the spot, especially in front of the other members. Besides, if we corner him by talking to him in front of the others, it could backfire..."

"That's true...Well, I'll leave it up to you then. And make sure to tell me if you need help with anything. Just one thing, it would be best for him to see a therapist. To make sure he's grieving the loss of his sister." His boss noted and it made sense to Namjoon. It was the best option for his friend, if they wanted Hoseok to heal his broken heart properly.

After letting PD Bang know that he was going to talk with Hoseok, Namjoon walked aimlessly with no intention of returning to the practice room until he had sorted out his thoughts. First, he needed to control his emotions of rage and anger. Namjoon was angry at Hoseok for not trusting him enough to tell him about his sister's death. Was he not trustworthy enough? Or maybe Namjoon was not seen as anything more than their group leader by Hoseok? And so, not worthy of knowing such a delicate matter. However, he understood it was a difficult situation and that he shouldn't be angry at his friend for not speaking up about a topic so painful and heartbreaking even to accept.