On Thin Ice

34

"What the hell," I muttered, getting up from bed to open the window.

It had started snowing out and it was coming down quite hard.

Fox was on the other side of the window, his cheeks rosy from the cold, snowflakes littering his hair and the front of his glasses, and his face etched in a frown. I opened the window and he immediately came inside, pushing me aside to get in the room.

"It's cold as shit outside," he cursed, rubbing his hands together for warmth as I shut the window.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, moving past him to sit on the bed.

"I obviously am here to see you," he said, blowing warm air onto his hands, then taking his glasses off to clean off the lenses with his shirt.

I just rolled my eyes. "If you wanted to see me, you could have used the front door.

"So you could slam it in my face?"

"I could have slammed the window in your face."

"You wouldn't though," he pointed out, pointing at me with his glasses. "Because it's cold as shit, it's snowing, and I could have fallen off your house."

"So the smart solution to you was instead of going to the front door, risking your life to climb up to my window in the snow?"

"Well, you can't say I never risked my life for you."

I just scoffed, throwing myself backward on the bed. Fox came to sit beside me after he situated his glasses back on his face. I stared up at the ceiling while he stared down at me. It took all of my will power to keep my eyes off of him. He knew how his glasses made me feel.

"Will you talk to me?" he asked, his voice sounding desperate.

"If you're here to apologize, you can save your breath," I told him, keeping my eyes trained on the ceiling.

He looked down at me with a puzzled expression. "I know I owe you more than an apology but—"

"You don't owe me an apology," I cut him off with a sigh. "You were right and I just got mad."

Fox shook his head and let out a groan. "You're being, like, so stupid right now."

I glared at him. "You can go."

"Elijah," Fox said in a pleading tone. "I'm sorry for what I said. It doesn't really change how I feel, but I shouldn't be projecting my insecurities onto you. You had every right to reject me."

"Do we have to do this right now?"

"Yes!"

I sighed again and sat up to look at him. His damn glasses looked so good his concerned face. He was too good looking for his own good.

"You deserve to be with someone that can be what you need," I told him. "Someone that can make you happy while you do what you need to do."

"You're making no sense right now," he said in an annoyed tone, shaking his head. "I don't want someone. I want you."

I opened my mouth to respond, but Fox cut me off.

"And I know I can't have you right now," he said. "But I'm not looking for anyone else. I want to be really clear about that."

His words caused my heart to flutter and my stomach to be unsettled. I kept wanting to convince myself that he deserved better, but when he said things like that to me, I wanted to keep him for myself.

"What if I were to look for someone else?" I let the words slip out before I could stop them.

Fox stopped for a moment and looked away before looking back at me, his lips tightly pressed together.