Weathering with you

Part 4: Weathering With You

Haruto was discharged after a week of confinement and was with Jeong-woo ever since. Sometimes he had felt how he may have riled the latter because he knows how much 'me time' he needs for the author to function properly. He was able to see the daily life of his favorite person and it sure makes his heart happy. He'd never thought that the author can be very clumsy, dropping his miniatures all the time because he's always in a hurry, he'd get to see him baffled because of his cats acting oppressed as if they've starved for a whole year. He'd always stumble over his cats when he was about to feed them but at the end of each day, he loved it the most when he'd see them sleeping and cuddling with them. Haruto, being a cat person is delighted with the view he gets to see every day.

"Jeong-woo, how do you feel whenever you look here?" Haruto is leaning his head on the author's shoulder. Their place has a clear view of the streets of Seoul and the night sky.

"What do you mean?" the latter asked.

"The high-rise building, the comfortable sofas, and bedsheets, we get to see these beautiful overlooking of Seoul from above. Have you ever felt sad when you look from up here? Or do you feel happy?" Haruto ponders.

"I don't know Haru. I'm thankful for everything I have but I can't dismiss my sadness at some point, I feel like I can never reach my highest potential because I disconnect myself, even if I wanted to come out, it's just hard. When you are already there - sometimes all the traumas will just come back. By then you found yourself hiding again. It's like a repeated cycle" 

"Have you ever checked yourself with someone?" Haruto asked.

"I've been trying so hard, but you see - it's never easy to share your struggles, especially with strangers. I found out that you need a lot of courage to come out. Sometimes, our pride is also a hindrance. We are afraid. I am afraid to accept how flawed I am. That while I blame other people for my struggles, I am afraid to accept that somehow, I am also part of it. I am also part of the problem.""

I think you're brave enough now Jeong-woo. Accepting our flaws in ourselves is hard. And yet you're slowly opening up and I am proud of you for that." Haruto said that bringing a small smile to the author's lips.

Jeong-woo faced Haruto, "How about you? How do you feel now?"

"Happy" Haruto smiled childishly and looked at Jeong-woo.

"I am with you, so I am the happiest man on earth right now" he stared at Jeongwoo's eyes causing the latter to avert his gaze afraid of the brave man seeing him blush.

"Ughh, Haru - I mean, like your question" Jeong-woo retorted.

"Oh, that, well - minus the fact that I am with my best boy right now, I somehow feel bad as well. We get to enjoy these hot choco on a Saturday night, listening to the old Beatles songs while the minority does not even get to taste hot choco. Have you ever thought of feeling bad because you are privileged? I know it's something we cannot change but till now, I'm still confused sometimes if I'm a bad person because of it."

"I don't think you are," Jeong-woo said.

"You think so?" He faced Jeong-woo again.

"You've captured photographs Haru. You have a passion for capturing the daily lives of ordinary people and sharing them with the world. You have captured photographs of the minority, and the under privilege - those simple acts can make a change in society. It can bring awareness to people who have seen it. You helped through your photographs. You don't have to be ashamed as you are aware and are using your privilege to help the oppressed."

"Tomorrow, let us find someone to help you too. Let us be kinder to ourselves from now on."

~

Spring has started and it's Haruto's birth month. The photographer has decided to continue with his treatment. A seldom visit to the hospital has become weeks and later, every 3 days. His physique body has started to deteriorate. He can no longer cope with the treatments.