An Artificial Relic

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Three Houses Saga: a Fire Emblem and Zombie Land Saga Fanfiction

Third-Person POV

The year is 2018 in the Saga Prefecture of Kyushu, Japan. It's about two weeks after the live concert at Arpino and the members of Franchouchou are taking a much needed break. It seemed as though it would be an actually normal day for the zombie idols, well, until the familiar yelling of their manager outside the mansion disrupts the peace.

"TAE, ROMERO, STOP DIGGING UP THE FRONT YARD!"

All of them quickly move out to the front door, thankfully all of them wearing their makeup and normal clothing, to stop the two from causing a scene out in the open. A dog digging up holes isn't anything new, but a ZOMBIE dog and a zombie girl with the same mannerisms would get some people creeped out.

"I could have easily stopped them ON MY OWN, you supid zombies..." Kotaro Tatsumi ungratefully states, causing their team leader to deliver a hard punch to his gut.

"I'm sorry, care to say that again ya prick?!" Saki Nikaido says as she threatens to give him another one.

"Now now, it's not like he struck you first, although he does deserve that punch..." begins Ai Mizuno calmly as she closes her eyes and crosses her arms. ".. seeing a member of a popular idol group acting this way would cause some speculation by the press, and..."

While she continues lecturing the rest of the group, our favorite egghead Sakura Minamoto notices Tae gnawing on an item she found in the dirt.

"Hey guys?!" she interrupts as she tries to pull whatever is in her friend's mouth out. With help from Lily and Yugiri, the object is free... along with Tae's head. Not saying another word, all of them run quickly inside just before Policeman A could pass by on his morning patrol and immediately fire a bullet into all of them.

As the Legendary Tae Yamada continues chewing on it, they begin discussing the object itself. Besides a few scratches and drool from the constant biting, it looks to be a perfectly preserved staff with some sort of gem lodged into it. The design kind of looks skeletal, like it's an organism's spine.

"It looks really cool!" exclaims Lily Hoshikawa as she observes it closer, "Maybe it's worth a lot of money!" she says while grabbing the staff and waving it around like a magical girl.

"C-careful with that! It might be some type of weapon buried here a long time ago that could hurt people, and maybe zombies!" a slightly worried Junko Konno pleads to the 12 year-old. This causes the youngest member to pout before throwing the staff against the wall.

After hearing Junko say something like that, coupled with Lily throwing the damn thing like a toy prompted Sakura to give a somewhat terrified squeak, the former doing the same.

"Hey if it's a weapon, why not take it out for a spin! Let's have some target practice at a junkyard!" Saki proclaimed with a big grin on her face. "Ooooo, that sounds fun!" Lily once again chimes in.

"I would like to see how powerful such an item could be, yes, let us pleasure ourselves with this mystical rod." Yugiri states with a smile.

Sakura gives a blank expression before speaking, "I'm sorry, but your phrasing still needs some work". The group continues the conversation on whether they should use it or not, while Tatsumi picks up the staff and observes it.

"What do you think we should do with it?" Ai asks him, "For now I'll keep it in my office, AND I DON'T WANT NONE OF YOU STEALING IT!" he yells as the pompous sunglasses-wearing manager snatches the rod and marches toward his room. Though he's stopped by a smug-faced Saki snatching it and making a mad dash outside.

"HEY YOU STUPID-" he shouts at the former Dorami member before getting the door slammed on his face. Picking himself up immediately, he decides to take the van and tells the others to get in. As Tae rushes out the door and into the vehicle, Sakura starts doyansu-ing (repeatedly asking "What do I do?" in a panicked state) before deciding to leave as well, with Yugiri and Lily in tow. Ai gives out a sigh then reluctantly follows, with Junko deciding to leave last, carrying Romero in her arms.

Saki manages to steal a motorcycle from a random dude on the street (who totally forgives her because Number 2 is his favorite member of Franchochou and he can't wait to tell his friends) and speeds off to the aforementioned junkyard. Once she arrives she pulls out the staff, with that big smile still on her face while laughing. She observes it a bit before picking her target, a wrecked car on top of a trash pile. She aims, but nothing happens.

"Damn it, work you piece of crap!"she says while smashing the thing on the ground until it starts glowing red. The gem lodged within the rod is giving off an energy that causes gusts of wind to blow objects away, just in time for Kotaro and the others to show up and get knocked down. Startled by what's happening, Saki drops the weapon on the ground while it's still releasing energy.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" the angry, yet slightly scared manager asked her, but she fails to give an answer as she continues staring into the crimson light, amazed at the power being released. As the idol group tries to hold on for dear life the wind becomes too much for them as one by one they all get caught into a swirling vortex. At the center of it all, the staff opens a gateway to who knows where and it gets sucked in, along with every person (and dog) there. The portal closes leaving nothing but the piles of junk that were there before, but now scattered in different places, along with Kotaro's van which is in the middle of being towed.

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Awakening on a cliffside near a village, the flowerheaded Ai observes her new surroundings. The wind blowing through her hair as she notices her friends (and the guy who hit her with a baguette) are lying there unconscious. She goes to try waking them up starting with the latter since his voice could serve as an alarm clock, until she is suddenly confronted by a group of ruffians. Four of them stood before her reaching for their weapons, presumably knives, as they start circling around the girl.

"Nyeh, hey, this girl's outfit is pretty strange, ya think she's from a foreign land?" one says.

"Probably, nobody in Fódlan wears anything like this, maybe she's a noble too.." mutters another.

The third one chimes in with "How much gold do ya think she's got, 10,000 at least?".

"Hey there cutie, I don't know how you've managed to wander into our territory, but you are not getting out, heh-heh-heh." boasts the leader.

Ai grips her fists, hoping that she's fast enough to disarm them and drive them off, and dashes towards the closest bandit and uppercuts his jaw. The leader stands and watches, stroking his stupid looking beard as she delivers a kick to the second bandit before being restrained by the third. Taking out his rusty dagger and the bearded bandit prepares to strike.....

Until a critical hit slash to the leader's large back causes him to fall over, blood leaking out of his body as the zombie idol breaks free from the bandit's grasps and steps back quickly. She looks upward to see a young man, could maybe be a 20 year-old, with dark teal hair and an iron sword in his right hand. As he cuts down the rest of the bandits, Ai feeling a little frightened at the display of violence before her. Once their bodies had been piled up, the Heisei Idol feels better enough to talk to the stranger.

"Thank you very much for saving me, I can't imagine what they would have done if you had not been here." she starts.

"Glad to see you are relatively unharmed." the young man says in response.

"Yeah, they weren't very strong, but their numbers could have overwhelmed me." says Ai, "Um, do you have a place where me and my friends could possibly stay for a while?" as she looks back at her companions who are starting to awaken.

He turns and points to a nearby village and beckons them to follow. "You're a real lifesaver, but how about telling me your name Mr..." Ai stops so she can hear his answer.

"Byleth, Byleth Eisner."

END OF CHAPTER 1

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