Diary of the unknown

Life

Something so simple but so hard to answer. Are you truly living or are you just like me, surviving? It's always in the smile that they show you. But to me it's always the eyes. When you stare into the depths of someone else's eyes you truly see their full emotions. 

But am I wrong? 

That's a constant question that floats in my head. People say they wear a fake smile to cover their true feelings. Or those who laugh every day are feeling down and out. Confusing? Maybe but that is the reality of today. Majority of us are living in a shell. The laughter , The smiles , The making sure someone is else doing okay yet here you are. Sitting and contemplating if your crazy or if someone truly wants you. Like come on lets speak from the heart. Never mind want the mind thinks cause even your own thoughts aren't safe for yourself. Forget statistics lets get real. What is it about life that makes you really wonder. Is it the good times , the bad or the everything in between. Sometimes I wonder what life is and what the world is and where I am. Is this even normal?

One day it stopped being sometimes and become most of the time. Then it stopped being most of the time and it became all of the time. Then I couldn't handle it anymore, my suffering to deep and too wide, that I began to seek answers. This is not normal. But today's "normal" is ill. It is far more healthy to be abnormal in this regard. See this is how I see life. Never being casted as the "normal" but the weird. I think being abnormal is how life should be. 

You make mistake after mistake and you always get up. You dress differently to others despite the quiet whispers you hear. You forget the simplest things yet they are major in comparison. I think in regards to what life means to me is just being alive. Simple. I can't determine whether I'm living or just surviving because I think i have my days where I do either do both or one of the other. Life is about breaking rules and following dreams. May not be what you want but who can determine that. Everyone lives theirs different. I guess life is what YOU make it.  And that is true fact.