Is it his personality or his zodiac sign

Chapter 2

My phone suddenly started ringing, I only had a phone that can make phone calls, it wasn't touch screen even though everyone else had it. That is why i never took it out in public and the only person that I ever talked to on the phone was my mom or dad. Mom was written digitally on the screen and it started making horrible old fashioned ringing sound. I picked up and put on my bravest and carefree voice. My mom never understood what I felt or even If I had depression so I never connected with her on an emotional level

Sure she tool care of me and provided me but always thought being sensitive was stupid. I picked up and she asked me if I was in school. I told her I came  a "bit" early and she said oh ok and our conversation ended. I realized that I have a family to think about if not myself. I didn't want to die and black out my thoughts even tho it seemed like an easy option. because I desperately  wanted to find out what life has to offer and to see the future that was written to me and whether or not everything will get better or not because I thought during that time things couldn't get worse than that.

I kept staring at the phone time anxiously and it was finally time to go to class. I was never good with direction because when I am nervous I can't concentrate and tend to forget easily or even if i remember I don't trust myself because I will keep thinking what if I read the room number wrong.

I looked at the room number multiple times and went inside the classroom. I picked the second seat from second side of the room. Middle was left open for the teacher to walk around and to teach.

After classes it was a another challenge to find the way home because my stupid self didn't know any direction. I I walked 45 min walk to get to the train station. Little did I know I skipped two train stops to get to the one in Coney Island because I didn't know better.

After many weeks I figured out to take the bus that was 5 min away and way closer to my home. That was only after my friend told me about it.

My feeling of loneliness was still there and everyday and every second I felt like there is not enough oxygen for me in this world. Despite knowing I overthink half of the time and convince myself for good hour, the lump appears.

I've realized that I have lost myself because I couldn't figure out the meaning of life. I was questioning what is the point of humanity and why everything happens. Basic things in life and complicated things in life, I didn't understand the meaning and I wanted to know what is the purpose of life....my life.