In all honesty I remember nothing about last night. Actually, I remember taking my two shots and then drinking a couple capri suns. Then that was it.
I made my way to my restroom to brush my teeth. I looked up at the mirror and I looked like a fucking mess. I was wearing a hoodie, I had no idea where it came from.
Fuck, I really hope I didn't fuck anyone last night.
I looked at myself trying to remember if I did or didn't fuck anyone, but as I said, I don't remember much.
In all honesty, i'm kinda scared to leave my room cause if I blacked out that means i'm in troubleeeee.
Oddly, the house was silent. I opened my door out of curiosity, cause at noon this wasn't common. I mean I think it's not common.
The hallway was empty, so I creeped out of my room. I put my ear against Joba's door and heard nothing, same with Matt, Kiko, HK, and Ian.
I ran back into my room and looked out of my window. The sprinter was gone. Which meant, I was alone, YAYYYYY.
I wasn't really hungry but the thought of ordering food crossed my mind.
I just decided to lay back down cause my head was pounding and tylenol doesn't really work on me. Before I knew it, I was out like a light.
matt's pov
As mad as I am at Laila for blacking out and making out with that guy, I really hoped she was okay at home alone.
I checked on her before we left and she was knocked out, wearing Ciaran's hoodie. Of course, I asked him why she was wearing it but in all honesty, I kind of trust him with her.
Our interview was almost over, finally, so I could go home and make sure she's still breathing.
~
We finally made it home and I practically ran inside to see Laila. She worries me so much sometimes.
I expected her to be throwing up or rocking herself in the fetal position or something, but to my surprise she was just yelling at her phone.
"I swear to my lord and savior if my coffee is fucking watered down i'm gonna raise hell- oh hey guys, what's up." She said while turning around and jumping off the kitchen island.
"I'm surprised your not dying." I remarked while walking towards her.
"It's called vitamins stupid ass." She laughed while hugging me, "When you're healthy, you don't get hungover."
"Ooo where's bear?" She questioned.
I looked around trying to figure out where he was but didn't see him. I know he went to the interview but I had no idea where he was now, "No idea Lay, why what's up."
"Just wondering." She said being interrupted by the doorbell.
"Fucking finally." She said under her breath while rushing to the door.
"Thank you. Have a wonderful day." She said while grabbing her coffee and giving the delivery boy a tip.
"Well if you'll excuse me, I have a bear to hunt." She said while walking past me.
laila's pov
I knocked on Ciaran's door and heard a faint "come in." So I quietly opened the door and closed it behind me. The room was pitch black and the only reason I knew where he was, was because of the small screen lighting up his face.
"You doing okay?" I asked while awkwardly standing at the foot of his bed.
"Uh I mean I don't know if i'm being honest. I don't know what's wrong either. I'm just in one of those moods I guess." He sniffled at the end of his sentence, which made me more worried than I was before.
He patted the spot that was next to him, so I crawled up and sat next to him.
He set his head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around him.
"You can talk to me ya know. I won't judge you." I said while playing with his hair and holding him.
"I wish I had a reason, but for some reason i've felt extremely empty today." He said in a low voice.
"What could I do, to make you feel better?" I asked.
"Just be here, that would make a lot better."
"Then i'll just be here as long as you need me to be." I answered.
~
"What. Are. Y'all. Doing?"
The lights were switched on after that was said. I struggled to see with the light in my face. Once my vision was restored, I saw Matt at the door and Ciaran's head in my lap.
"He's upset, about something. I don't know what but he just asked me to be here for him." I said while petting his hair. I'm surprised he's still asleep.
Matt looked suspicious before switching the light back off and walking out of the room.
Hm that was weird.
Ciaran started to move around and he slowly woke himself up.
"Feeling any better?" I asked.
He responded with a nod before pushing me off of him. Uhhh okay.
"Get out." He blankly said.
"Um Ciaran are you sure you're-"
"Get out. Now."
I got up, confused, walked across the hall to my room and sat on the bed. I was kinda hurt, more confused, but hurt. It didn't make sense but I mean, who was I to judge him and the way he copes.
I decided to go outside and sketch or something. I mean I didn't really know what else to do.
When I got to the shed I got out my art notebook. I went through the pages, admiring my old art and seeing how my skill has developed over the years. It's crazy how time goes by so fast. It's also crazy how you can excel in something over time and not even notice.
I posted a picture of an older piece on my instagram stories. It was a doodled boy and he had a chain around his neck, attached to earth. All of my art was doodled, none of the characters ever had a face. I was super bad at drawing faces. Some of the characters though, had a smiley face or a sad face. I mean I never left them without eyes at least.
I looked down at my first lil doodle to see this:
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I low key want it tattooed on me. I mean life's short so fuck it.
I searched for the nearest tattoo shoppe and called to make sure they would be able to do it without an appointment. As soon as I told the guy my name over the phone his mood totally switched and he seemed more than happy to do this tattoo. I guess being known had its pros.
I grabbed the sketch and my keys and headed out the door, ignoring all the boys asking where I was going. Cause let's be honest, I was kinda pissed off. Why would he ask me to be there for him, then bark at me to 'get out.' If you don't want me there, don't ask me to fucking be there in the first place.
