laila's pov
"You look like a fucking creep." Merlyn said.
"Yeah bro your just looking at her. How fucking long have you been doing that?" Kevin questioned.
"Y'all fuck off. I'll wake her up and we'll meet you down there in 20." Ciaran responded. He has the cutest accent.
He nudged me a couple of times before I opened my eyes.
"Lay come on we gotta go." He said while stroking my hair.
"Mmm kay. Let's go."
I got up and did the usual morning routine before stuffing all of my belongings into my suitcase and backpack.
I checked my phone and smiled at all of the posts and text messages I was receiving.
I'm 19 now. I don't really think it matters though. Like nothing really changes.
I followed Ciaran downstairs and got in the bus. The guys were all hungover so most of them just went to sleep.
"Hey come here." Ciaran whispered in my ear as I set my belongings on my bunk.
He led me to the back room which was empty.
"Let's take a nap here. It's quiet and there's enough space for both of us." He said with puppy dog eyes.
"Bear, I have work to do I can't just sleep all day." I sadly explained.
"Please layyyyyy." He said grabbing onto my waist.
"Fuck you Ciaran." I said pushing him onto the couch. We cuddled up next to each other since this room was literally freezing.
"You know, I really like you." Ciaran said rubbing circles on my back.
"I like you." I said laying my head on his chest.
~
ciaran's pov
"Matt do you really have to tell her right now?" I said holding onto her.
"If I don't tell her that and she finds out I knew i'm gonna be in deep fucking shit." Matt whispered with tears running down his face, "Come on Ciaran you have to wake her up."
"Lay come on wake up." I said nudging her.
She shuffled around before sitting up. She stuck her hands over her eyes since Matt switched the lights on.
"Laila we need to talk." Matt said sitting across from her.
"What's up Matty," she yawned.
"Um I mean, I don't really know where to go with this. Mom and Dads ship, the ship they were on. It's- It's missing. It's off the grid. It's been off the grid for like two days, but they just called me a bit ago" He said looking at his hands.
Once those words left his mouth, her face fell. She looked so, out of it.
I tried to hold her but she pushed me off of her and got up.
"Happy birthday to fucking me." She walked out with tears streaming down her cheeks.
Fuck. There's no way we all forgot. No one told her happy birthday. We didn't even think of it. What the fuck is wrong with us.
~
laila's pov
"Brandon, I need a flight home. We're almost in Philly. Please. I need to come home. I'll explain it later. Please get me a jet home at like 4 am."
"Laila what's wrong?"
"Brandon I just want to come home please just let me explain later."
"4 am, I'll send you the location of the airport you need to be at."
"Thank you Brandon. See you soon."
I hung up the phone and stared at the bunk above mine.
My parents. They can't be gone.
It was now 2:30am and we just got to the hotel. I knew this because the bus came to a halt, causing my body to move forward a tad.
I just felt so empty.
With Tyler it was more of blaming myself. The feeling of not being enough. But this just brought the worst out of me.
I knew I couldn't be here anymore. At least not right now. I'm not in the right headspace to be traveling with these boys. I'm not in the right state of mind to be whatever I am with Ciaran. I just knew I had to go back to LA.
We got off our luggage and I hugged Matt after he grabbed my bag from under the bus.
"Hey, I love you." I said clinging onto him.
"Laila, I love you too." He said rubbing my back.
I pulled away from him and wiped my face.
I followed Ciaran to the room as usual and just changed into a pair of shorts and one of his shirts. I'm gonna miss him. His scent. The feeling I had around him. His little accent. Everything.
He was quiet. I knew he didn't know what to say, that wasn't his fault.
"Thank you Ciaran. For just being there I guess." I said looking at him.
"You know I don't know what to say. If I did, trust me I would say it. I'm always gonna be here for you though. Always." He said planting a kiss on my head.
He fell asleep once his head hit the pillow. Once he was out I ordered my uber and wrote two notes on the little Hotel notepad.
"Matthew. I love you with my whole heart. Tell the boys I love them too. I just can't be here right now. My energy isn't there. I'm just not mentally okay. I know what i'm doing is selfish and I know I shouldn't isolate myself but I can't help it. I just need to be alone I guess. I'm gonna miss you though. I love you tons Matty. Stay strong. You have 12 brothers to help you through this. You don't need me here bringing down the aura. I'll see you soon.
p.s. it's okay to cry.
- Laila"
"Ciaran, you have a special place in my heart. It's not going anywhere either. I just need some time I guess. I know it's not healthy and I probably shouldn't distance myself but I have to. For y'alls sake. Have fun on tour Bear. I'll miss you. See you soon Bear :)
- Laila."
A couple of tears ran down my cheeks as I left to catch my uber.
I left the note on top of his phone and slid Matt's under his door.
I just need to scream in my bedroom. That's what I needed.
~
Now that i'm high I realize this chapter is so bad 😭😭😭
I'm sorry lmao 😳😭
