Mind the gap

The daydream before my life

My life kinda runs over onto .Jonathan's life. He's my power source for my life. He's the pain absorber, memory bank and my security blanket. In his arms I feel content. Without him I don't think that I could have survived this long. I never get tired of hearing about how he came to me. But I think he gets tired of trying to mask his pain.

August 21 , the most tragic day in my . Every year I go to her grave leaving Liv to fend for herself. Which somebody will think is cruel. But this is my sister the person who has changed me for the better. Liv can't usually fend for herself but she decides that one day out of 365 days all her memories are inside her own head , I don't know how it works but I think that it's my pain during the only day that I let her see me cry. She realizes that she has her own life without me but the stress of life my life gets her brain to function fully.

Liv's got to move on to a new place she basically can just wake up with an almost clean slate. Me on the other hand , I have twice the pain of losses. Liv has got two amazing parents who have devoted their own lives to her. Mine on the other hand decided that living with me was way to painful, they basically just blamed me for losing Darci. Liv is kinda where I just find comfort. I love her optimistic outlook on life. When I feel like I have hit the lowest point which is pretty low expecall because I have to support two lives.

So you might think without memories you can't feel anything for anyone. Well that's not true. The feeling I have for Jonathan aren't forced, fictional and they are extremely ambitious. There might be some cracks on my surface but Jonathan fills them up with the folds of his t-shirt and I bind him together with all the room my arms can wrap around. You know how stories can touch you well my favorite story is about the life that Jonathan has created for me. The fact is that I can get by on only the things that I have learned in school and on Jonathan.

Liv might not expect it but everyone my world spins it spins around her. Not by force but by my love that has grown over time. She is my sun which I get excited to spin around. She is the journal that the last two years have been written in. You all know that young love doesn't survive life's challenges. Well that's just a stupestitious belief for the people that love has broken them down. Children are supposed to not have a perfect relationship with other children of the opposite gender which is a cruel and undesired effect on people that effects the entire world.