Home

Chapter 3

The following day...

When I woke up, it took a minute to gather myself; maybe it was because of all of those shots of tequila I had when I finally got home.

As I slowly peel myself away from my bed, I drag my feet across the floor as I head towards the kitchen. Once there, I pop some aspirin into my mouth and chase it down with water. As I take a seat on one of the kitchen stools, my mind drifts back to the events that took place last night.

After Rachel agreed to go to dinner with us, to lighten the mood, she thought it would be nice to do a musical number before closing the diner. I reluctantly agreed. Unfortunately for me, Rachel chose "Opposites Attract". After she grabbed Kurt from the back, we all took turns singing our lines. As we were all hopping around the diner and just enjoying ourselves, I couldn't help but look at Brittany - as subtly as possible - seeing that my girlfriend was still in the same room, singing along. Although it's a fun song, I couldn't help but analyze the lyrics and think about how different me and Britt are, yet we made it work. Hmm... maybe Rachel was trying to tell me something.

After that, me and the girls went to eat while Kurt went home to spend some time with Blaine. It was awkward and really weird to see how well Brittany and Dani got along. I mean, it's great that they like each other, but I wonder how their interaction would've been if Dani knew what took place back in Lima. Honestly, I have no idea. She might give me an ultimatum and tell me that I can't talk to Brittany anymore. However, that scenario wouldn't work out in her favor. I'd never be able to cut Britt out of my life. Regardless if we're just friends or more than that, that's just a part of the Santana Lopez package. Whoever I end up with - if it ends up not being Brittany - they're just gonna have to accept that or else there will never be a bright future for us. Does it sound a little selfish and unreasonable on my part... probably so. Like I said before though... Brittany will always be a part of my life, no matter how big or small the role she plays.

Anyways, after Rachel and I arrived back at home, I felt even more confused than I had been the past couple of weeks. The last thing I wanted to do was try to lie down and think about my feelings and what I should do. So, instead... I drank myself into a stupor until I felt completely numb. To be honest, I don't even remember going back to my room or passing out.

"How ya feeling?" I hear as Rachel takes a seat next to me. "You got pretty messed up last night."

"Like shit..." I respond groggily.

"Yeah... I figured as much," Rachel knowingly replies.

"How'd I get in my room?"

"Well... I tried carrying you there at first, but realized that I'm much too small and delicate," Rachel begins. "Thankfully, after the boys were done with their shenanigans, they assisted me in getting you into bed."

After hearing what Rachel said, I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Even though my head was killing me, I pushed through the pain. The thought of Rachel Manhands Berry getting me into bed was by far the most hilarious thing I've ever heard in my life. I mean, seriously... my eyes are so watery from laughing so hard that I almost fell out of my chair.

"Ha ha ha... very funny, Santana," Rachel dryly states. "You know what I mean."

"I'm sorry... you just caught me off guard," I giggle out as I try to tame my laughter. "Don't get me wrong, Berry... you've got a nice bod underneath all of those frumpy sweaters you used to wear and your face is actually cute if you look passed that giant nose of yours..."

"Well... thanks for that sweet, albeit back-handed compliment. It's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me," Rachel states as I shake my head at her amusedly. "It's good to hear you laugh again." I give Rachel a small smile. "Have you had any luck figuring out your whole torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool thing?"

"Not really..." I reply. "I mean... should I stay with Dani? Should I be with Brittany? Or should I just be single and slut it up all over New York and not have to worry about feeling s and shit?"

"I'm good with either of the first 2 options," Rachel pointedly states. "You've made far too much progress as a person to divert back to your whorish high school ways."

She's right, ya know? I've grown so much these past few years. Honestly, I owe all of that to Brittany. The main reason why I was so slutty back then is because I was too afraid to come out of the closet and admit to myself and everyone else that I was in love with my best friend. How Brittany put up with me all those years... I have no idea.

"You're right..." I oblige.

"Look, Santana... I know this has to be a very difficult decision for you," Rachel says, completely not helping by stating the obvious. "My advice to you is to follow your heart. Think about who makes you feel complete and safe and at peace with yourself. Think about who makes you feel like home."

With that, Rachel squeezes my arm and gets up from her spot beside me.

"I'll make some coffee... and probably some toast to soak up all of that alcohol," Rachel jokes.

Yeah, Rachel's okay... I guess.