Home

Chapter 4

Several hours later, I'm chilling on the couch, watching a movie with Dani when I hear a knock at the door. Feeling slightly irritated because my favorite part of the movie is about to come on, I reluctantly answer the door. However, once I see the golden blonde hair and crystal blues eyes on the other side, my features immediately soften.

"Hey Britt... I didn't know you were coming by."

"Yeah, me neither... it was more of a last minute thing," she explains. "I actually just came to say goodbye..."

The tone of her voice makes me worry. She sounds so monotone and sad. The usual jubilance that accompanies her voice and personality are nowhere to be found. Quickly, I step out into the hallway and pull the door shut behind me.

"What do you mean? I thought you were gonna be in town for a few more days?" I question.

Brittany hasn't really told me much about the project she's in town working on, but apparently she was doing research all day. I figured that was the reason why I hadn't heard anything from her all day. Besides, I was still pretty hung over so I probably wouldn't have been the best company.

"I lied..." Brittany slowly states. I'm not exactly sure what she lied about, but that's so unlike her. Brittany's the most honest and straightforward person I know. "I'm not going back to MIT..."

"I don't understand," I reply. I've already been out of my sorts with all these feelings, but now I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind altogether.

"You were right... I miss dancing," Brittany confesses. "At first it was really cool and flattering to be this super math genius that everyone wanted to work with, but now... it feels more like a chore or like I'm just being used," she states. "You're the only person that ever called me a genius and actually believed it before MIT came along. I guess that's part of the reason why I stopped dancing."

"I'm not sure I'm following, Britt..." I softly reply as I link our pinkies together, hoping that she will continue.

"I've always loved dancing because it allowed me to escape into my own little world and not have to worry about anything. But then, I met you and my world got turned upside down... in a good way," Brittany continues. "Dancing with you is by far one of my favorite things to do. I guess that's why I diluted myself into thinking that there might still be a chance for us."

Remember before when I said I was still really confused? Yeah, that hasn't changed yet.

"When you made me dance again and you voiced your concerns about MIT and me not having a life or dating, I was happy to know that you still cared that much about me," the blonde states. "However, it almost made me think that you were trying to secretly tell me something... that's why I kissed you. I thought that maybe, just maybe you wanted to be with me too so I was selfish probably made you really confused about this whole situation."

I'm trying to keep up with this conversation, but it's really throwing me for a loop. I want to open my mouth to interject, but I sense that Brittany's not quite done yet.

"The truth is, I came here to look at the dancing programs of some of the different colleges around here because I want to be closer to you. I came here to win you back..." Brittany briefly pauses before lifting up her head and locking onto my eyes with hers. "But then, I met Dani in person. She really is great..."

As I see the water forming in Brittany's eyes, I raise my free hand to wipe away an unshed tear. "Britt..."

"Just let me finish, please?" Brittany begs. I oblige. "You seem really happy with her and I really don't wanna mess that up. Besides, it's my fault anyways..." I scrunch my eyebrows because I'm completely lost now. "I was the one that told you to go to New York and find a girlfriend."

Brittany and I just stand there in the hallway, looking at everything except each other. I have no idea what to say. Where would I even begin?

"You have a new dance partner now, so... I have to respect that," Brittany says, breaking the few minutes of silence that had past. "It was unfair for me to try and interfere with that. I just want you to be happy, San."

"What about you?" I question. I hate seeing a sad Brittany. It breaks my heart to see her like this.

"I'll be okay, eventually... I just need a little time to move on for myself," she solemnly replies.

"I don't wanna lose you, Britt..."

"You could never lose me," she responds as she wraps me up in a tight embrace. This hug feels different though... like, more definite. When I left for New York the first time, our goodbye didn't seem as final. But in this moment, the way Brittany is holding me feels like it will be the last time. "I have to go..."

I lean back from our embrace in an effort to search her eyes for some answers. I can't find any though... just tears that are starting to fall. As Brittany lifts her hand up to wipe away the dampness on my face, she leans in and presses a delicate kiss to my forehead.

"We'll talk soon," she says before unwrapping her arms from around me. And just like that... she's gone.