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Chapter 5

It takes me a few minutes to gather my bearings before re-entering the loft. I'm feeling so many things right now and yet... I feel so numb at the same time.

"Who was that?" I hear Dani say as I get closer to the couch.

"It was Brittany... she came to say goodbye," I respond, not recognizing my own voice.

"Hey... are you okay?" Dani asks as she gets up from the couch and rests her hands on my shoulders.

"I... I don't think so," I manage to get out.

The room is silent for a moment besides the low humming of the TV in the background. I'm staring at the floor because I can't possibly look at Dani right now. However, I feel her eyes on me, almost as if she's studying me.

"You're still in love with her, aren't you?" Dani states more than asks. This makes me finally look up and meet her eyes. "It's okay to say yes..."

I open my mouth a few times, but shut it almost immediately. I can't bring myself to say the actual words. Dani is a really nice girl. I don't want to hurt her.

"I remember the first conversation we had when I started working at the diner," Dani continues. "When you mentioned Brittany, you said that you loved her, but that it was over. When we started dating, I thought that maybe that was actually true," she continues, "but then I met Brittany and everything you ever told me about her made sense."

I never knew I was that obvious about the feelings I still harbored for Brittany. I wanted to be over her; I tried really hard to make that possible too. I guess no matter what I do though, I'll never be successful because I don't want to be over Brittany. I want to be with her, but again... I don't want to hurt Dani.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

"You should go after her..." Dani says lowly, standing tall and stoic.

Only know you love her when you let her go

I'm not sure if I heard her correctly. Surely, I must be mistaken. Even if I did hear her correctly, is going after Brittany the best thing for anyone in this situation? What if Brittany and I aren't meant to be together? What if I'm not what she needs? What if she's better off without me? If that's the case, shouldn't I let her go so that she can finally move on?

And you let her go...

"Stop over-thinking everything," Dani interrupts my self-loathing thoughts. "I may not know you as well as your friends or Brittany, but I know you well enough to know when you're doubting yourself."

Hmm... maybe she does know me a little more than I thought.

"I know you don't want anyone to get hurt in this situation, but sometimes that's just the way things happen," she continues. "I really like you, Santana... but, I'm not foolish enough to think that what we have will ever compare to what you have with Brittany. Although it sucks, I'm just trying to be realistic."

"I never meant for this to happen," I finally say, barely above a whisper.

"I know... no one's blaming you," Dani replies as lightly takes one of my hands into hers. "You should really go after her; you still might be able to catch her."

"What about you?" I cautiously ask.

"I'll probably go home, put on some Adele, and crawl into a little ball until I eventually die from a broken heart," she responds. My eyes widen and I'm pretty sure my jaw is touching the ground. "I'm totally just kidding," she chuckles out. "I'll be fine."

"You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!" I say as I lightly push her. "Seriously though... you're really okay with this?"

"It will probably sting the first couple of times I see you two together, looking all happy and adorable..." Dani begins, "but I'll get through it. Plus, we're still gonna be friends, right?"