Happier ~a kagehina fanfiction~

5 Days After

When Hinata woke up this morning, he felt okay. He felt normal.

Until he looked over at the empty space next to him and all the events from the past few days came flooding back. The weight in his chest returned. He wanted it to go away, and stay away.

And for that, he felt guilty, because here he was, in his own bed, in his own house, while Kageyama had to stay at the hospital for over another week. 

He couldn't afford to be sad about his own situation. That wasn't not fair. 

So, Hinata got dressed. He took a shower. He had a bowl of cereal. He did all of his normal, routine things because that was the only thing that was keeping him sane. 

Today, he had work until 2. Then, he would go to the hospital. At 4:30, he would be back on campus for his intro to environmental studies class. Then, he would come home, eat dinner, and do homework until it was time to go to sleep. That was all he had to do to get through today. 

That's not too much for one day. He didn't need to think about tomorrow until tomorrow. Just get through today. 

Those were the thoughts going through Hinata's head as he walked to work. He worked at an art supply store right next to campus. It was a pretty good job, at least compared to some of the jobs his friends had. Every time he heard Noya's stories about work, Hinata thanked every god there was that he doesn't work in food service. 

The art store was quiet, not very busy. Since he had very little knowledge of art things, he usually worked the cash register. His boss will even let him do homework, as long as he wasn't on his phone or computer. Hinata often did a lot of reading during his shift. Right now, his environmental studies class, the same one he had later that day, was making him read a book about the effects of the meat and dairy industry on the environment. It was not a very uplifting book. He hasn't done any of the reading so far and he's supposed to be at chapter 10 by class so they can discuss, so he hoped he can get it done during this shift.  

His friend Akaashi was working when he walked in. Hinata let out a little sigh of relief, it was nice to have a friend working with him, it made the long hours a bit more interesting. 

"Hey Hinata. How are things? How's Kageyama, is he still in the hospital?" he asked. After getting Hinata's permission, Suga and Daichi had taken it upon themselves to let all their mutual friends know what happened. It made it easier for Hinata because he didn't have to pretend like nothing happened, but he didn't need to go through the dramatics of telling everyone exactly what happened.

"Things are... well... as well as can be expected," Hinata said, recalling the phrase used by Kageyama earlier. "Yeah, he's still in the hospital, for 9 more days now. He's... fine. They keep him heavily monitored over there at the psych ward."

"Yeah, I'm sure. And, Hinata, I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times, but, if you need anything, anything at all, I'm here." Hinata smiled softly at him.

"Thanks, Akaashi. It's just getting through the next several days. Once Kageyama's back, well, I'm sure we'll be able to figure everything out." Hinata kept repeating that to himself. The hard part is over, he would tell himself. Once Kageyama gets back, he'll be able to take care of him. Like he should have been doing all along. 

Akaashi noticed the contemplative look on Hinata's face and decided that he probably wasn't in the chattiest of moods. 

"It's a slow day, so I'm betting you can get work done. My shift is over in about an hour, so I'll work the floor for that time, if any customers come in, that is," the older boy said with a small laugh. 

Hinata nodded to Akaashi, and then opened up his book, leaning against the counter. His mind wanted to wander, but he really had to get this done. 

After painfully trudging through 10 chapters, Hinata's shift was finally over. He served a few customers, but no one he knew, thankfully. He waited at the bus stop for the bus that would take him to the hospital and started his internal plan of what he was going to do once he got there. Hopefully Kageyama wasn't getting too beaten down by spending so much time there. Hopefully. 

He finally arrived, and having checked in, waited patiently in the communal room that they reserved for these kinds of visits. After what seemed like forever but what must have been just a few minutes, Kageyama walked into the room. He was wearing a loose, dark blue t-shirt and thin sweatpants. He looked pale. And skinnier than usual. And his eyes. They looked defeated, far more than Hinata had ever seen. 

Hinata tried to stay calm. He could not look like he was freaking out, that would only make things worse. So he plastered a smile on his face and got up to go hug his boyfriend. 

"Tobio," Hinata said softly. Hinata could feel Kageyama's ribs through his shirt. And so the weight in his chest got even heavier. "Let's sit down."

Hinata pulled a chair around the side of the table so they could sit next to each other. He kept a firm grip on Kageyama's hand, for his sake as much as his boyfriend's. 

"Have you been eating?" Hinata asked tentatively. Kageyama looked at the floor. 

"I'm not hungry. The food here isn't any good, anyway," he said softly. 

"You still have to eat, Tobio." Hinata looked up at the ceiling, hoping the gravity would work in his favor and stop tears from running down his cheeks. There had to be a way he could get Kageyama out of here earlier. He might not even survive two weeks. 

"Hey, I'm fine. I promise," Kageyama lightly touched Hinata's cheek, making purposeful eye contact. "It's just been a little hard to sleep and I haven't had very much of an appetite. I miss you, that's all." 

The words squeezed Hinata's heart. How dependent is Kageyama on him? What if he couldn't do everything that Kageyama needed him to do? What if he let him down?

"I miss you, too, Tobio," Hinata said, willing his voice not to crack. After a few moments of silence, just breathing each other in, Hinata shifted towards his bag. 

"I brought something for you. Just something to remind you of what's waiting for you when you get out of here," Hinata said, reaching into his bag. He brought out a small canvas, only 5"x5", with a painting of a lake during a sunset. It pictured a little dock with a little house, the sky a brilliant array of oranges, reds, blues, and pinks with the lake a perfect reflection. "The moment you can leave, we'll go here, to our place. We'll sit on the dock and have a picnic of good food, not hospital food. We'll watch the sunset and we'll be fine. Right?"

Kageyama, hands shaking, took the canvas and stared at it, amazed. 

"Did you paint this?" 

"Yeah, I did," Hinata said a little shyly. "I've had some extra time during work." It's true. In the past two days, he had not been doing homework during his shifts and instead been working on this. That's why he had to read 10 chapters earlier that day. It took him a long time to get everything right, with lots of help from Akaashi, who was actually quite good at painting. 

And looking at it, Kageyama felt the first spark of hope he had felt in a few days. Everything was going to be alright, how could it not be, when he had someone like Hinata by his side? 

"Thank you, Shoyo. You're right. We will be fine."