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Crazy

I couldn't decipher where the tattoo had appeared from. I had just cut down on the weed so these couldn't be hallucinations. You've all smoked a blunt or two of pot, i know that some of you have even gone harder into deeper stuff like meth, heard that's a great deal, kinda ruins ones life and damn, looks. As it was in this situation, i had a tattoo that i didn't know where it had appeared from, from thin air maybe.

It was on Friday, the last two days had been hell. How the hell did i get tattooed, maybe i had really gone hard on the alcohol and lost myself on a spree and maybe gotten that damn tattoo on my chest. After really searching every nook and cranny on my body.

To my dismay and surprise i had discovered four other tattoos, miniature versions of the big one on my chest. They were so intricately drawn, it would be painstaking work even for the best tattoo artist in town. Each tattoo had somehow managed to be on each damn limb, i couldn't hide them, those on my hands at the least.

Why always me, i ask myself. Am always in for a deep self questioning. I also knew that in this shit hole, nothing ever went according to plan, everything was a probability with a million chances to go wrong that were always as possible. This had taught me to always appreciate success. It was always out off reach. Made me think i was accursed.

The phone at the table is ringing hard waking me up from my common day light reveries. I am stark naked, that is how I've been for the past two days. Books about tattoos lay strewn across the table and fast food delivery boxes unopened on the floor.

I strut to the table to pick up the phone hitting my head on the low woods. I scream in pain and chaos, damn my dick swinging like a pendulum. Anyone who could see me now could only say to themselves that i was now as mad as a hatter. Though i am usually very quiet and i may appear very polite. This is not usually considered as a good thing in males, seems feminine. God, did we have to be so rowdy and dirty. Speaking ones mind made one seem a bit real. Shy boys are sissy and should go sard themselves. That's the reality. Nice guys are always gonna finish last, on earth at least. And the last time i heard, earth was the only place. So fuck off and speak, take that stick from your arse.

"Hello there, we are speaking to you, so would you care to listen," a voice comes from the handset, its weird it doesn't sound male or female its hard to place it in any group. I'm almost struck i can't move seems like someone has waved a wand at me and shouted some Latin, lol are spells really in Latin who said so. I'd prefer some alien language with different semantics.

Maybe they knew about the tattoos, all these strange happenings since i posted that accursed letter, my blood turns cold when i remember of that haunting place.

I listen on to the drawling voice. And my eyes light up, i didn't see them do that. But i know they light up like orbs. Its as if some combination has been triggered within me. I feel great, i feel better than that, i cannot describe, confidence is running through my veins. Not that cocky overbearing confidence but that of cool.

"At a price, Will, remember, the price is heavy. The soul is ours but the joy is yours,"  gods, what had i gotten myself into. I put down the phone not knowing what to say. I feel like am on autopilot. I feel so good, like i can accomplish anything.

Have you ever played a game knowing every move. Even complicated five star moves. If you have then you seem to be near what i feel now. I feel like superman i feel like i have the key to every girls heart. The power to unlock everything. Nothing seemed impossible, it was crazy, every question i asked myself was a yes not in any chance was there self doubt.

I did not get myself long. I stand there in my living room, stark naked, legs wide apart like a sailor on a battle ship. I feel good like all answers to my life have been answered. I feel that the price to pay will be super huge but i can not think about that right now. My usually over thinking mad machine of a mind is now focused cool. Its heroic confidence.

Now what had i to do with my newly acquired power, i think while dressing onto some clothes, having taken a bath and cleaned up the whole place in a jiffy. I could impress my date, i think to myself.I laugh thinking, how could i think i had acquired some power. I always knew i was powerful but somehow, it was too far fetched. It was like activating beast mode onto a video game.

I had the whole city to myself. The city would be at my knees. My introverted boring self was gone. Still introverted, i prefer that than being some shitty overbearing loudmouth. But now confidence was leaking from my pores....guess if you had pheromones you would acquire that, then i would be irresistible.

Fully dressed, i grab a six pack from the refrigerator quickly gulp one down and squash the can then i walk over to the window overlooking the city. Grab the TV remote and switch on the cable TV, its prime time news, i do not usually watch news, its depressing crap. But now i could really use some background noise.

That's where i belonged that's where my dreams lie. Ready to be conquered, ready to be myself, free of fear and self doubt but now filled with determination and spirit. That's where i belonged in the world and i was ready to take my place.God I'd never feel like i felt now, a fire was burning within me, some fire that would never be put out, i mean never. It burns so hard and deep that i can feel the warmth rumbling through my veins. I could roar right now a roar straight from a metro film.

People would surely notice the flow, how i had changed somehow in a most mysterious way to become something that each of them desired to be, so self assured, cool as ice. In my swirling sea of emotion, i knew that i had a price to pay, a huge price, it was like selling my own soul to the devil to take care of, if he really took care of souls.

All this confidence was not for nothing, it was not for me to chase after hoes and live a middling farming life, surely anybody could do it, anybody even the most un-confident of species could live, but not the latter, they would surely not be chasing after women, that requires confidence.

But i didn't really know that, it was like the wildest day dream ever drawn from the deepest of my subconscious soul. I never made conclusions on dreams, that was my weakness, i had always liked iron hard facts and solid things i could see and touch. That fucked up personality of not relying on fantasy was drawn from my dad, i really missed him though i couldn't admit it. Our relationship was always strained, always tense, like any wrong words could have sent it hurtling downhill, unrecoverable. But i gave no fucks and it was what it was.

Right now nothing really mattered, i felt really good and that was it.

Now what does an average introverted New Yorker do. It hit me hard, i almost laugh, my previous cycle of living seems so boring right now that i can not contemplate how any person in his right mind would live such a life.

God had i turned into a cocky extrovert, now i couldn't bear it, death would've been better, it seems like an alluring choice than having to bumble about all day, I'd never gotten it, how someone could speak all of that in a day, was it an anomaly.

I wanted to feel alive, to feel the heady rush of blood.

I didn't know for how long i had stood there, it seemed like eternity to me.

It was time i grabbed some coffee, no not that, something to burn my insides, maybe scotch or vodka, one on the rocks maybe.

Lol am still writing short stories but am coming up.
Watch out for the next Stephen King.

Long story cut short.