The Two Idiot Assassins

Part 1

-------Kai's POV-------

"Is this a normal Monday for you?" I asked. "No. The assassins usually try to kill me on Tuesday," Yori told me. "Is that sarcasm?" I said tilting my head. "Yes, Idiot. Now get in the van before they see you."

Yori shoved me in the van, then I jumped in the front seat, started up the vehicle and then sped through the town we were in. When we got onto the highway Yori shouted, "Will you be quiet!?" I looked at him, "I didn't say anything!" "Well stop thinking so loud!" Yori shouted again. 'Oh no did he hear me thinking about chicken again?' I thought to myself.

~~~

When me and Yori got to our hideout, we attacked the fridge and stole all of its babies, and then started to pig out on junk and watch videos of cats failing.

"I'm way too sober for this," I sighed. "Wait, what!?" Yori exclaimed, "No no no, no alcohol. You had way too much yesterday, and your the one who got us into the mess that happened earlier, remember?!" I rolled off the coach we were sitting on and mumbled "Why? I won't chase you with a knife this time... please?!" Yori sighed and said "Kai, can you please go be stupid somewhere that's away from me?" "But it's fun to annoy you!" I whined.

"Bye, I'm going to go make supper for us" Yori said making an excuse. "By the way we have to kill somebody tomorrow. Boss said." I smiled creepily at him. "Ugh, I hate the sight of blood," he grumbled. "Then maybe you shouldn't kill for a living" I told him. "But then who's going to take care of your filthy ass? It's not like you would give up killing," Yori sighed. I just laughed "Of course not. But you could just take care of my filthy ass when I am done with work."

When me and Yori were at our card table eating I asked him, "So, how's your girlfriend?" Yori just grumbled and continued to eat. "I said how's your girlfriend!?" I impatiently asked. "Ugh, fine. I'll tell you only because you'll keep on asking. I broke up with her okay?" Yori mumbled. "What! But I thought you said you liked her for real though?!" I shouted slamming my hands on the table knocking down all of our food on the ground.

"What the hell man! The food was good for once!" Yori shouted. "Ya but you aren't telling me everything! Spill it, what happened with her!" I shouted back. "She was murdered okay!? Just shut up will you. Some assassin just showed up and shot her," Yori screamed falling to the ground with tears streaming down his face. "Yori I'm so sorry I-I didn't know, I j-just thought..." I stuttered crouching down next to him.

Yori was scrunched up in a ball with his head in his knees. 'I've never seen him like this before, what do I do?' I thought. I decided to pick him up and carry him to the couch. When I set him on the couch, he just stared up at me while sniffling. "Hey dude it's going to be okay. But you loved her a lot didn't you?" I asked. "Ya I did. I-I'm going to bed," Yori said getting off the couch and heading towards his bedroom. 

"Well there goes my shitty self again" I mumbled.

-------Time Skip/ Morning-------

I woke up this morning and ran into Yoris' bedroom and sat down right on his floor, and and leaned my face close to his, with my eyes opened wide, and then started blowing on his face. Yori started to shiver then his eyes opened. "Boo!" I screamed with my face still close to his. He jolted straight up and kicked me in my gut. "You scared me!" he yelled, I smirked "Well, I am naturally terrifying." Yori just rolled his eyes.

"On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you want to kill me right now?" I asked, he quickly responded "I'm hovering somewhere in the high thirties."

When lazy butt Yori finally got up he started cooking breakfast for us, while I looked at the file of who our target was this time.

File 00767

Targets name: Rota Macao

Gender: Male

Targets job: The National Gun Makers

Reason: Conducting explosive weapons without government permission

'Well this should be an easy mission' I thought to myself. I walked over to the kitchen and started looking in the cupboards and then a towel whipped my back. "I'm making food dumb ass. Your going to be fat soon if you eat all the time," Yori said scowling at me. "Well what are you gonna do about it!" I stuck my tongue out at him. "Just come and eat breakfast dumb ass."

~~~

When me and Yori pulled up about a block away from the hotel our target was staying at, we got out of the van we were in. "Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?" I asked Yori. "Oh god, we're going to die, aren't we?" he frowned at me. "It's a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself." Yori pointed his finger at me and screamed, "You absolutely do not!"

Me and Yori started walking down towards the hotel and when we did we past by an awesome shop. "Oh, look at all the pretties!" I shouted shaking Yori. "Can you please stop talking about assault rifles the same way you talk about shoes?" Yori sighed.

"No can do. Wait we're here! I guess we didn't notice while we were talking about the pretties." I exclaimed. "Will you stop it with the pretties already!" Yori shouted, "Let's go find our target and get this over with."

~~~

When we walked into the hotel we spotted our target right away. "Excuse me Mr. Macao, can we borrow you for a second," Yori asked him. "Yes but make it fast. I am a very busy man you see, now what do you want" Mr. Macao said highly annoyed. "It's actually a business offer sir, could you please come with us into another room for a second to chat." When Mr. Macao heard the word business he seemed interested. "Sure."

"Do you have your gun in your pocket?" Yori whispered to me. "Ya, I've got it loaded and everything," I responded. We found a small room and then I locked the door after the two went ahead of me. "Sir the business offer is actually a demand. You must give us your body, or shall I say let us kill you," Yori told Mr. Macao after they were both seated. Yori looked at me and gave me the signal. I slid the gun out of my pocket and then started to shoot Mr. Macao. 

"No please! I don't want to die!" Mr. Macao screamed in fear. He eventually fell of off the chair and onto the ground and started sliding backwards. "Well that's what they all say, no one wants to die. I mean the people that we kill," I told him grinning, "And now it is time to go, bye bye. Or shall I say cheerio!" And with that I shot him in the chest and he took his last breath.

I looked at Yori and smiled. "We did it! All done." Yori just looked disgusted and tried to wipe the blood off that was on him. "All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes," I told Yori smiling. "Wow what a great compliment," He sarcastically said back to me.

After we talked some more, we made our escape through one of the windows in the room. "I think with the cash that we will be getting, I'm going to get a dragon," I declared. "What? Why?" he replied looking confused. "I don't know? 'Cause they're cool that's why dumbo, and then I can fly with it!" I exclaimed. Yori just sighed and remarked, "You really are a idiot!"

Hoped you liked the first chapter! Thank You for the people that are voting, I appreciate it!😁