salt and sugar ; my intellectual thoughts

八

Words cannot describe the unforgettable journey I've been on without the days of recording my intellectual thoughts in this novel. Rather than avoiding the lemon juice squeezed into my eyes, here I am, ready to face salt and sugar. 

the feeling of disappointment, yet almost anticipating it because a part of you knew it was coming all along. yes, that hit different.

history seems to replay in front of your eyes, as if time would continuously rewind. yet, my body fails to change what could be irreversible. instead, my life goes on with reoccuring events that continue to scatter broken pieces of me. occasionally, i do sit in the darkest corner of my room and cry my guts out. all of this seems too normal. 

perhaps i'm just sleep deprived; i'm never work-efficient, nor do i have down-to-earth conversations with my friends anymore. instead, i stare at the wall to pass time and take out my anger on harmless pillows. 

it isn't until you lose something that you realize how important it was.

i lost of my charisma, my laughter, and the stars in my eyes. 

i lost my world and all purpose of life.

back then, when those aspects of me still somewhat existed, i didn't bother to acknowledge them because i was completely unaware that one day, my life would be destroyed by the words and actions of those dearest to me. 

if only i took the time to cherish those beautiful memories. but, i guess that's the reason why they're so important to me...because they're gone.