If the World Could Understand

Fifth.

   I wake up every morning to screaming. My head suddenly starts to hurt. I think to myself "Why is my life like this?". But at the end of the day, I deserve it. My mom thinks I'm fine, but I'm no stranger to pain. It's like I lock my door but the emotions are knocking on it. Eventually the door breaks down and my room floods. I sit there and let it devour me. But no one knows that I'm drowning. I can't scream, I'm on my own. I'm screaming inside but no one can hear me. I let it take me. I'm not a fighter anymore.

    It's crazy how I once thought of you as a brother. I trusted you. When I was a child I thought I was so strong and could face anything, but things change. I'm a different person. But if younger me was looking at me now, she'd be disappointed. She was strong, a bad kid, but she went through a lot. She wasn't afraid of anything. She'd look at me now and laugh at me. She would have never have thought that this would have happened to me. I am a better person then I was then but I just wish I had the strength that I had. She was traumatized. She still is. But anyways, you betrayed me. You broke me. You took advantage of me, and I hate you for it.