Insane

Chapter 13: Understandings

"How are you supposed to get her to open up to you when she doesn't want to speak to you anymore?" Aubrey asked Chloe curiously as they walked down the main corridor together. Chloe sighed as she held her laptop against her ribs. "I have an idea, Beca told me she likes music. I never did give her the chance to show me what kind of music she likes. I was too busy trying to make her open up to me, but I know now that it's going to take time with her. Especially now that she thinks I'm the cause of her blacking out." Aubrey nodded as she bit her lip in worry. "What if she does black out again and ends up hurting you once more? I just don't like that you're going in there alone. At least take Rose with you." Chloe shook her head as they were finally in Beca's wing of the hospital. "No can do Posen, if I go in there with someone with a needle she will never even try to talk to me with someone else in there. I will promise that I'll page someone if she blacks out again, I already have Rose's page number on speed dial." Chloe said with a playful wink to Aubrey as the blonde haired woman nodded with relief. "Okay, I'll be doing a group session soon, so if anything happens I'll come running." Chloe smiled at her friend softly as she gave Aubrey a quick hug. "Thanks Bree, wish me luck."

Once Aubrey was out of sight once Chloe got her keys out and quietly opened Beca's room door. She peaked inside at first, to see Beca still sleeping soundly on her bed. Chloe quickly entered the small room and shut the door quietly behind her. Just like she did before she grabbed Beca's desk chair to sit right next to her bed. At first Chloe was going to wake her up softly, but she ended up stopping herself. Chloe's eyes softened as she looked down upon Beca's sleeping form, she just looked so peaceful. She also looked really beautiful to Chloe in this moment, why didn't she notice until now? Chloe's mind instantly went back to the memory of Beca kissing her, which she immediately shook her head at with a blush on her cheeks. Beca was seventeen for gods sake and she was her patient, she shouldn't be thinking like this and yet here she is. Sitting here beside her underage patient, waiting patiently for her to awaken. Was this sudden attraction to Beca because she was intrigued by her? Chloe doesn't even know why she has this sudden urge to find out everything about Beca. She tries to tell herself it's because she's Beca's Doctor, but her subconscious tells her otherwise. To be quite honest with herself she hasn't dated anyone since her college sweetheart Luke and that was five years ago. Sure she could tell herself she was young and in love, but the truth is, she felt nothing for him. I guess you could say he didn't peak her interest enough to be fantasizing about their future together. They were only dating for about a year, they even met each other's parents for gods sake. But When she got a job right out of college she blamed their long distance for their untimely break up. Luke at first was heart broken, as he tried to call her every week when she was in her new work environment. She always did feel bad for how things ended between them, but she hopes he eventually did move on from her and is living a happier life. Chloe rolled her eyes at herself as she slouched in the uncomfortable desk chair. Why was she even thinking about being in a relationship in the first place? She has no time for one, let alone trying to figure out what her attraction towards Beca suddenly was. Chloe scrunched her eyebrows together as she reminded herself that she did find Beca attractive way before they interacted fully together. Right now she wants to not be thinking about any attraction she might be feeling, instead she should be focused on how she was going to help Beca's life. To be quite honest she has no idea what she's going to say to Beca when she wakes up to find a crazy red head suddenly sitting beside her. What was she supposed to say? 'Hey I liked it when you kissed me, but I think we should just keep this relationship strictly professional.' Chloe sighed heavily as she looked back at Beca's peaceful sleeping face. All of a sudden Beca let out a strangle of a moan as she started to thrash her body around on her small bed. Chloe got even more concerned as Beca then shouted loudly, trying to push something away form her in her sleep. "No! Stop!" Chloe quickly set her lap top below her feet as she shook Beca awake, before she completely fell off of her bed. "Beca! Beca wake up!" Beca's eyes opened in fear as she looked around her surroundings in confusion for a moment. "Hey it's okay Beca, you were just having a bad dream. Are you okay?" Beca's eyes widened even more as she noticed Chloe's hands were on her shoulders still. She quickly sat up in her bed, making Chloe jump back in her seat in surprise. "What are you doing here?" Beca asked her angrily at first until her eyes drifted down to the large angry purple bruises on Chloe's fair skinned neck. "What happened to your neck?" Beca asked her in confusion as Chloe eyed Beca in shock. "Beca do you remember what happened last night?" Beca shook her head as her face suddenly dropped as she started to realize why she felt groggy in the first place, she did that to Miss Beale and they gave her a shot again. "I did this to you didn't I? I'm so sorry Miss Beale I didn't mean to hurt you, please believe me-!" Chloe interrupted her as she nodded, trying to calm Beca down before she got rowdy again. "I know you didn't mean too Beca, this wasn't your fault. If you meant to hurt me you wouldn't be feeling guilty about it right now." Beca bit her lip as she tried to fight back the tears forming in her eyes. "Does it...does it hurt?" Chloe smiled at her gently as she shrugged. "Just a little bit, but I'm completely in one piece I assure you." Beca sighed in relief as she nodded, making herself keep distance between them just in case. Beca eyed the room to see no one else was in there with them, which was strange since she literally strangled Chloe last night apparently. They would have her locked up and drugged up still by now, what was going on? "Why are you here alone? Why isn't someone in here with us?" Beca asked Chloe curiously. "Well I thought we could listen to some of your music this morning, I know we didn't get a chance too. Would that be okay?" Chloe asked her gently as she opened her laptop and looked at Beca expectantly. Beca way beyond confused by now, why was Chloe still being nice to her after what she did? It made absolutely no sense. Chloe should be afraid of her and yet she's looking at her with those bright beautiful blue eyes with nothing but kindness reflecting out of them. Beca nodded hesitantly as Chloe smiled brightly, typing away at her computer. "So I know patients aren't allowed to have access to the internet, but we can keep this our little secret for now." Chloe then handed Beca her laptop, setting it gently beside her on the bed. Beca smiled slightly as she picked up the laptop and saw that YouTube was already set up for her. Beca thought for a moment what song she should search for, then she got an idea.

Beca turned up the sound as she made a glance up at Chloe's face who seemed to be focusing on the music more than she was herself. "This is really good Beca, what band is this?" Beca licked her lips as she set down Chloe's laptop beside her once again. "It's Tame Impala, I like it because their songs are so soothing. Whenever I got mad I tried to listen to them to calm down, but I can never do that anymore in here." Chloe frowned as she hesitantly put her hand on Beca's that was resting on her lap, smiling when Beca didn't move away from her this time. "Well you can now okay? I don't want you to feel like you can't ever find a healthy coping mechanism in this place, because you can." Beca felt herself gulp as she just stared at Chloe's unmoving hand on top of hers silently, as Chloe continued to talk with her. "I know right now you feel like you don't want to trust me anymore, but believe me Beca I want nothing more than to help you. You just have to let me in and I know that's not going to be easy for you, but all I'm asking is for you to try. Can you try for me?" Beca was still silent trying not to meet Chloe's eyes, but she soon let out a small gasp as Chloe used her other hand to gently lift Beca's face up so they could meet their eyes together. Beca grimaced as she quickly moved her hand away from Chloe's and shifted her body back against her headboard in fear. "I don't know if I can...I might hurt you again. You don't understand-!" This might be the most riskiest thing Chloe has ever done with a patient of hers, but she had to try something bold if she was going to get anywhere with Beca. Chloe got off of the uncomfortable seat as she moved to sit close to Beca's legs at the end of her bed. "Then help me understand Beca, I want to know everything about you." Beca's eyebrows shot up to her forehead in shock as Chloe was very close to her all of a sudden. "I want to know what it's like to wake up and feel the things you feel everyday. Maybe if you tell me what caused you to black out, then we can figure out how to stop it all together. That won't happen if you don't tell me what you're feeling, hearing, or thinking right in this very moment. Please Beca.." Beca could feel her heart about to beat right out of her chest at how much Chloe seemed to care about her. It can't help but make her angry, not at Chloe herself, but at how people have treated her in the past. Why didn't they care about her like Chloe seemed too? Maybe Chloe can teach her to be normal, then she will finally have someone to be there for her. Or does she just want Chloe to be the only one to be there for her? She has to say she doesn't despise the idea, but Chloe might. "What I'm feeling right now, I don't think you'd want to hear it." Chloe looked at Beca with a small smile as she shook her head in disagreement. "I want to hear whatever you have to say Beca, I truly do. Tell me what happened yesterday, what did you feel before you blacked out." Beca gulped as she looked down at her bed sheets in shame. "I felt angry and...embarrassment. If I hadn't done what I did, I wouldn't have hurt you and Jimmy. I'm sorry..." Chloe smiled softly as she took both of Beca's hands in hers, rubbing them softly. "It's okay Beca, I'm sure you were just overstimulated with emotions and they took over your actions. Trust me it happens all the time with humans." Chloe told her playfully as Beca chuckled a little. "I guess so, I'm still sorry it happened. I promise it won't ever happen again...I won't hurt you ever again." Beca said meaningfully as she locked eyes with Chloe, making Chloe breath in a deep breath at the intense stare Beca was giving her. They sat there for a few more seconds just basking in each other's eyes, until they heard a muffed knock and voice behind them. "Miss Beale? It's Rose, is everything okay in there?" Chloe's eyes widened in surprise as she looked down at their hands and quickly removed hers from Becas all together. Chloe stood up as she patted down her lab coat as she hurriedly ran over to Beca's bedroom door to open it with red cheeks forming on her face. "Hi Miss Rose! Yes everything is under control here, as you can clearly see." Rose smiled at Chloe politely as she was holding Beca's breakfast tray in her hands. "Well that's good to hear, I just came to drop off Beca's breakfast." Chloe nodded as she immediately stepped aside to let Rose in. "Well that's perfectly good timing, we were just finishing our conversation. Beca enjoy your breakfast and our session will begin when lunch is over this afternoon. Is that alright?" Beca nodded immediately as she watched Chloe leave her room longingly. Rose set Beca's breakfast down at her desk as she eyed Beca curiously, before leaving the room.

Author's note: hey sorry I haven't updated this story in a couple of days, but I finally got an idea for this chapter and here it is. Hope you liked it.