It was a look of love

The Game Changer

Earlier that year I started feeling things, sad things. Life started sucking and the world kept turning. My importance fell through the ground and I was okay with that. It was comfortable being sad. Sadness was my safety blanket and I brought it everywhere, discretely though.
It was 10 weeks into the first semester and my grades plummeted. They were " C C A A C D C F". Stress and sadness became friends and never left me. I started hurting my self and I started starving my self. No one noticed though. How could they, they have their own struggles and problems to worry about. I lost 10 pounds and gained 10 scars. It was bad.
I met this guy though. He was cute and sweet. Although he lived in Tennessee and I lived in California, we talked everyday. I saved his life every night and he took mine away each night. He meant the world to me, his brown-blonde hair and his green eyes. His love for rock music and big trucks. He was your American boy who loved trucks and guns and destroying young girls hearts. I thought we had something despite the distance, we destroyed ourself to find comfort in the sadness. He would tell me how beautiful I am and how he needed me and loved me, he knew what to say and when to say it. But things weren't as perfect as I thought. Each night there would be deeper and more cuts, but it was okay cause he told me I was pretty. I would cry myself to sleep each night but it was okay cause he told me he love me. He was poison.
2 months passed and the texts were less frequent and there were rare I love you's. I didn't notice for a while cause I was still hung up on the first time he told me I was the most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes on. Then 2 weeks go by and we haven't talked. One Saturday night I receive a "Hey", my heart starts pounding. We talk for a while until I stupidly ask "So what's new?". He tells me he likes this girl and that she's gorgeous in every way and smart and all around perfect. My heart pounds very loudly as if it was trying to break through and my mind wavered whether he's talking about me or another girl. And I ask "where did you meet her?". A minute goes by.. Then two and three and finally my phone reads "New Message". It took me forever to open it and once I did my heart just sunk. " From church, she sat by me and we started talking" , so it was another girl. All the I love you's and I need you come clouding my mind. YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME, YOU ASSHOLE. YOU PLANNED A FUTURE FOR US, YOU CANT STOP TALKING TO ME FOR 2 WEEKS AND MEET ANOTHER GIRL. I was calm and I just replied with simple answers. A couple months past and he never talked to me again and that girl who believed in love had gone away. Thats when i realize the world is a selfish place and you cant trust what anyone says.