I knew (TW )

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TRIGGER WARNINGS : HOMOPHOBIA, SELF HARM, BULLYING, HARASSMENT, STRONG LANGUAGE, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE




I knew that day

The moment my life began to decay

Hand to mouth 

Eyes wide

"Oh God, I'm gay!"

Or wait

Maybe not

It was just a thought 

You know what? 

Pan

That fits better in the can

His lips

Fake promises

Gifts made from fear

Bleeding when I got near

Twice I made that mistake

Then thrice

Then I realized

I was right all along

I AM GAY

I am a queer

I don't feel as though I belong here

Government hates me

Wants me dead

Keep quiet

Think straight thoughts

Inside that  not-so-pretty head

You want that to  be you?

Watch the men as they shoot true

Genderfluid?

Wait, what's that?

Oh nevermind

God, you're so fat

Food?

No thanks, I'm good

Not  new to the neighborhood

Poetic?

Wow, that's weird

Another artist freak kid

Just be like the rest

Why won't you conform?

Go home!

Slice up your arm

That's right you fool

Act like a tool

Depression?

Oh, what's that?

A fancy word for sad is all

Pass the quiet girl in the hall

So stupid, you see?

Clutching that book

She once hit me

I tried to take it from her arms

But she fought 

Like I meant harm

Were you raised on a farm?

Cold office

Steely gaze

Quietly turn the thick page

Is that all from me?

Blood, hair, scars ,complaints

From my tree?

Oh? 

I smell a lie

"You need a bra!"

Here, you needn't show off

Blood

So much blood

Hot stench

Fear of the wreched

That's normal?

What the fuck

Look, there's a fist

DUCK!

You dare tell another lie?

SHUT UP! 
JUST SHUT UP! 
WHY WON'T THESE VOICES DIE?

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