YesterWorld (Book 2 of the Down World Series)

Original Edition: Part Three, Chapter Thirty-One

The snow fell lightly outside of Anastasia's bedroom window, illuminated in the stark winter air by the soft light of a full moon. Unable to sleep, I simply laid in the bed and watched it trickle down from above, dancing silently past on its way to the ground, burying the world in white.

Adam spooned up behind me, encasing me like a suit of armor, his left arm nuzzled under my pillow and his wrist lying on the purple-tinged sheets beside mine, our scars stacked side-by-side like dominoes. Ready to fall.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered.

"That if we succeed in erasing this timeline," my voice came out soft and distant, "we'll be the only two people left in the world with these scars."

His right hand came over my body, grazing my waist and working its way slowly down my arm. His fingers passed over his own weathered scars and landed gently on mine, freshly healing now, the scabs bright red in the soft light. He kissed my temple as his hand traveled on, landing in my own. Our fingers intertwined, our bodies warm in their perfectly formed half moon.

"I should go," he said in my ear, starting to pull away from me.

But I pulled him back, clutching his hand even tighter. "Not yet," I insisted. "Just give me tonight. We can hate ourselves in the morning."

He hesitated only a moment, then clung on to me even tighter. So tight I couldn't tell where his body ended and mine began. So tight that, for a moment, we were one.

*

"Rise and shine!" Jenny laughed, and I was jolted awake as she tugged the blankets down from around us, plunging our bodies into a shock of cold air. I woke to see her standing at the foot of the bed in the flat morning light, next to Sage, who looked embarrassed to be there. "I told you so," Jenny whispered to her friend.

Adam, coming to consciousness in a heartbeat, yanked the sheets back and covered me with them. "Get out of here," he said in a forced tone that sent chills down my back.

"Oh, we're just teasing," Jenny continued, not seeming to understand that Adam was only going to get angrier the longer she stayed.

"I swear to God—"

"It's okay," Sage said, "we'll meet you downstairs. Sorry we burst in."

A rush of humiliation overcame me as I fully woke up and took stock of the situation. There was no undoing this. We'd been caught. What the hell were we going to do now? I buried my face under the covers, the harsh daylight too cruel to face.

"We're taking you to breakfast," Jenny said as they headed out the door, in a voice that was a little too happy with itself. "Why don't you two get cleaned up first?"

"Jenny, give it a rest," Sage scolded under her breath as the two of them finally left the room.

Adam ripped his body away from me and started putting on the jeans he'd left by the bed, stepping into them while still sitting. Coming back up for air, I reached to place a hand on his back, but he flinched violently at my touch. A small noise escaped my throat, one of surprise and more than a little fear.

But then I saw Adam's broad back deflate with a forced exhale.

"I'm sorry, Adam," I whispered, my hand resting on the bed in a sort of purgatory, halfway to his body.

With what seemed to be great effort, he reached back and took my hand, giving it a peremptory squeeze. "It's not your fault," he said through tight lips. "I'm gonna go find a shower. I'll meet you downstairs."

He zipped out of the room in a flash, leaving a chill in his wake like frostbite.

Wrapped in a sheet, I headed for Anastasia's bathroom and took a long look in the mirror—at my bleary eyes half shut with sleep and my hair falling in messy waves over my bare shoulders. I didn't even smell right, the faint whiff of last night's perfume intermingling with Adam's skin and my own sweat.

A million emotions flooded over me at the sight of my reflection. I had to admit that the first one was exhilaration. Despite everything, it had been the most beautiful night of my life. And I did feel different, as I always knew I would, now that it was over.

But then the shame settled in, and I knew in my heart that it would be a constant presence, returning in unrelenting waves for a very long time.

I wasn't ashamed of what Adam and I had done, although I knew most people would feel that I should be. I was ashamed because I had betrayed Brady, who'd done nothing to deserve it. Yes, it was true that I couldn't remember the last few months, when we'd begun dating. But that was no excuse.

I remembered Brady. His kindness. His humor. The way he'd looked out for me when we went under the lake together. The way he'd held me as I fell asleep, just a few short days ago. God, was that even possible?

And it was all my fault because I didn't let him go to Boulder like he'd planned. I brought him with me into my new timeline, telling myself that it was to spare him the pain of having Piper leave him.

I was worse than Piper. I was worse than anyone, even my mother.

You're as selfish as your mother.

Adam really knew where to dig the knife in with that little zinger.

There was a time when all I'd wanted in the world was for Brady to love me. And now that he did, what had I let myself do to him? Even if Adam and I succeeded in this impossible task, even if we found out where the adult Jenny had gone and managed to stop this evil, twisted timeline from ever occurring, it would never erase the knowledge in my head of what I'd done to someone who truly loved me.

There was no fixing this. Not a portal in the world to hide behind.

This one I would have to live with.

I stepped into the shower and washed the last of Anastasia's perfume off my skin.

****

Keep reading for chapter 32!