Sunflower

81

On Wednesday, I decide today's the day to finally have The Conversation with my dad. I can't put my finger on why I'm dreading it so much – I think it's mostly because I've never had a major argument with him before. Sure there's been disagreements and stupid stuff like that over the years, but I've always fallen in lock step with what he and my mom want. I've gotten good grades, stayed out of trouble, surrounded myself with good friends... The worst that's happened is that one time in eleventh grade when I came home drunk on tequila and puked all over the bathroom. After living under his roof for 21 years, this is the first time I'm anticipating conflict between us. Despite being an adult and having a massive opportunity over here in London, something in my bones tells me that my dad is going to object to my decision.

The pit in my stomach grows as I text my mom and Jimi, giving them each the heads up that in an hour I'll be calling Dad. They both agree to do their part to support me, during and after the call, and I'm relieved when Mom tells me that Dad has been bragging about my Time Out story to everyone he knows lately. I'm counting on this being the main underpinning of my case to stay in London.

I told Hero last night and we agreed he'll stay nestled in the bedroom during the call – off-camera but waiting in the wings for me when it ends. I admonish myself when I picture running into the bedroom crying afterwards. Visualize what you want, Charlie – not what you don't want! The good news is that I'm not expected at the West End project until later this afternoon, so I have plenty of time to recover should things go south.

I'm sitting at the dining room table, chewing my thumbnail with a now cold cup of coffee sitting in front of me when the door to our bedroom opens. Hero's face wears the warmth from sleep until it registers my anxiety; then he pads over to the table, pulls me up and then sits, bringing me down onto his lap.

"It's going to be okay, I promise you," he says softly into my neck as I siphon the warmth from him. While his arms wrapped around me do provide comfort, I can't help but think "you don't know my dad..." Instead of voicing this, I form a small smile and nod quietly. "After all the success you've had here, I can't fathom what he can have against you staying in London. Is it possible you're underestimating him?"

I half-laugh and roll my eyes. "Highly doubtful."

"What does Ashley think?" he asks and I have to appreciate how clever he is. He knows she serves as my other non-family sounding board and that she will surely have prepped me for this talk.

I trace his eyebrows with two fingers and nearly get lost in the green abyss of his eyes. How lucky am I to have someone in my corner like Hero – someone who knows who my people are and how much their opinion means to me? "Ashley thinks Malik is going to freak out, but that he will calm down and eventually come around to see my side. She thinks this call is going to be an epic battle." I look at him, my tight smile conveying my fear that she's right.

Hero cradles my jaw in both of his hands. "Your career is taking off over here. I hope that once the shock wears off, he'll see the ambition and strength that's grounding your decision to stay. If that doesn't work, remind him that London is only a six-hour flight." He kisses me softly on the lips and when I try to pull back after a normal amount of time passes, he keeps my head firmly locked in his hands and continues kissing me, attempting to inject confidence into me. "You are doing the right thing, Charlie."

I take a deep breath, acknowledging through a nod that he's right. He gets up, makes a coffee and then pauses to kiss me again before retreating to our bedroom. "I'll be right inside if you need me," he promises before closing the door behind him.

God, I love this man so much, I think and then dial my dad's number.

To call what my body is doing "butterflies" would be a massive understatement. Acid churns in my stomach, my palms are damp and nervous bubbles dance through my veins.