Poems (2014)

First Daughter

My mom was clearing ot her room and looking through old papers

She brought out a receipt from the DMV which showed the price of an ID in the eighties

She had my dad's old check stubs from his ninety-two hour weeks when minimum wage was two or three dollars

And then she came across my sister's birth certificate

The date on it was October 11th, 1986

I'd never seen a twenty-eight year old paper look so white, hardly yellowed around the edges

Then came other memories:

A proof of birth paper from the hospital,

A Social Security Card,

Cemetery documents,

and a card signed by doctor's and nurses expressing their condolenses

The inscription on the card was extremely simple

And yet, it made my heart ache

There was something else

It was a business card from the clinic where my mother first took my sister for help

When they transferred her to the hospital, it was too late

"They took her from me," my mom said

And with those words, I shared a pain with her that was unlike anything I'd ever shared with anyone before

we sat there for a while with tears in our eyes

And then she asked me if I wanted it all

And then she asked "Or do you not care?"

Of course I cared

I accepted the papers

I was honored that she chose to give me all she had left of her first daughter

I didn't tell her, but I think she knew

Then I went to my room and cried by myself

I grieved for the sister who was nine years before my time,

the sister I never knew

Because even thought there was a grave that we visited three times a year,

This was the first time I had proof that she lived

09/27/14