Subject 48

Choices

I can't see into most of the stall, meaning there could very easily be a zombie in it. If there is, I need to get rid of it before the others find it, or worse, it finds them.

Then, without warning, something emerges from the darkness and peers out from behind the stall's thin wall.

A little girl, a toddler. A toddler that had become one of the monsters. She looks out with her big eyes. Her eyes first catch sight on the lantern, looking straight at what must be a bright light to her. She lets out a sad whimper before ducking back into the darkness.

My body is shaking uncontrollably. I know that she probably won't hurt me, but I can't help it.

She steps out onto the light. Her eyes are closed. She has a pink dress on and a pair of small little sneakers, also pink. She really is a sorry sight to see, especially her arm. It's covered in blood. The blood seems to have come from her shoulder.

She rubs her eyes before opening them a sliver. She sees me and smiles. This is in no way reassuring.

A take a step closer to her. Her eyes are still adjusting to the light, so she's confused as to what's going on.

Perfect. I raise my bat. It hovers over her head as I try to work up the courage. She's a monster. I must do this. The girl looks up at the bat with a intrigued look to her. Her eyes opened all the way, revealing just how big they look on her.

I hesitate. The more I look at her, the more human she looks to be. My mind is playing tricks with me. Something about her puffy cheeks and big eyes makes me want to hug her even though I know I shouldn't.

Suddenly, I through my bat aside. My instincts are preventing me from hurting her. She may be a monster but she sure isn't acting like one. She's too innocent to be one of the others, or at least it's that way for me. What if one of the others comes in? Would she attack them? Would they attack her? Provably. But, nevertheless, I pity her. She's just a kid. She was turned into one of those monsters even though she's so young.

I would put her put of her misery, but she doesn't seem too sad about being doomed to such an afterlife. I would call this her afterlife since she isn't alive, right? Is she technically still alive?

I'm knocked from my thoughts when the little girl goes and sits by the door. She looks like she's waiting to be let out. Like that's happening.

I ignore her the best I can and continue with what I was doing before. Filling the empty bottles I had brought in with water.

---([])---

I finish filling the last two bottles and return them to the bag. Just for precautionary messures, I pull my mask down around my neck. I then turn on the faucet, cup my hands, fill then with water, and drink. I don't want to take water from the others, so I might as well get a drink now.

I look behind me to see the girl still in front of the bathroom door just staring at it. Her bloody and mangled arm lays limp at her side. I now notice her mumbling softly under her breath. Okay, maybe not mumbling but something that sounds somewhat like it. Soft moaning might be a better description.

It takes me a bit to realize it but she's doing more than making mindless sounds. She's trying to say words, or a word.

"Mama..." she finally says loud enough for me to understand.

This obviously makes my heart shatter into a million pieces. She misses her mother, her family. I want to relate. I want to sympathize with her, but I think back in my life to find a family and come up empty. I might not even have a family. The best thing I can think of is the people at the lab.

I think back to what Master had said to me at the lab. "This is your home. This lab is where you have all your memories," he had said. "As previous tests have shown, you don't remember anything before you came here. You don't remember the world, where you came from, who you used to know."

Maybe I do have a mother. I just don't remember her or anybody else. But what I don't understand is what life I had before the lab. What if I'm like this little zombie girl? A normal person with my whole life ahead of me. Then I was turned into something . . . different?

I shake my head to get rid of those thoughts. I pick up all my stuff the way I had them with me before. Bat in one hand, lantern in the other with the plastic bag around my wrist. I then walk over to the girl. Our eyes meet. Her eyes are filled with sadness now. They have this yearning, this sorrow to them.

With a heavy heart, I leave the bathroom, my mind still stuck up on the idea of me being like her.

Had I been turned into something unnatural at the lab? Am I not completely human? Am I not completely alive?

Am I a monster, too?