The buzzing of a phone pulls me from my sleep, and as I peel my eyes open it takes me a while to reorient myself.
The comforter draped over my body is black, the sheets underneath me are gray, neither of them belonging to me. The early morning sunlight that streams through the blinds casts a soft glow on the posters that cover the surrounding walls. An arm is draped across my waist—an arm inked from top to bottom—and I feel so secure under his touch.
Halston's breath fans my neck as he sleeps, warning my skin. Kenna lays between my legs, her soft purrs gently vibrating the bed. I take a deep breath and soak everything in, feeling peace in a way I've never known before.
I haven't woken up in someone else's bed in a long time. I never stayed over with any of the guys I slept with, never cuddled, never let things get too personal.
After Halston and I fooled around for a while we had a few beer while finishing the movie we hadn't even really been watching in the first place. Before I even had the chance to make my way towards the door to leave, he asked me to stay—something that surprised both of us, I think.
I agreed, not even taking the time to think about it, just knowing that I wasn't ready to part from him just yet and step out of the bubble we had created over the last several hours. So we climbed into his bed and quickly fell asleep tangled up in each other.
"You're still here." Halston's voice is coated with sleep, deeper than usual, though the words make my body tingle all the same. He tightens his arm across my middle and nuzzles his face into my neck.
"Of course I am," I whisper. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"The cat," he croaks. "She thinks she owns the bed."
I chuckle. He places a kiss below my ear and rolls to his back, stretching his toned arms above his head. His movements stir Kenna, and after a stretch of her own she pads her way up my body and begins kneading my chest with her paws.
"I liked sharing the bed with her. She's sweet." I scratch behind her ears and she begins to purr again. "You know, I always wanted a cat when I was a kid. Any pet, really. So I'll take all the affection from her I can get."
A knot forms in my throat, a heaviness settling in my chest, but I force it away, back into the box that I made for that part of my life, to keep those memories under lock and key and not easily accessible.
"What about you?" I loll my head to the side and capture his gaze. "Did you have any pets when you were a kid?"
Halston visibly tenses, his jaw ticks and sets in a hard line, his cheeks flaming red. He's very obviously upset, though I can't imagine at what. I pull my lips in and look up at the ceiling, awaiting any sort of reply.
"No," he finally barks, his tone gruff and angry. He tosses the covers off himself and stands, his boxer briefs the only article of clothing on his toned body. "C'mon, Kenna. I'll feed you."
With that he heads out the door towards the living room, his steps wide and determined, the cat prancing behind him, eager for her breakfast.
I force myself out of his bed, righting my shirt and tugging my leggings on, wracking my brain for what I possible could've said to set him off.
I step into my chucks, smooth my hair, and pad across the carpet the same way he had. I find him in the kitchen, squatting over a porcelain bowl and filling it with food. His muscles are tense and I can see from where I stand that he's scowling.
He shoves the bag of food back into a cabinet and rests his hands against the counter, gripping it until his knuckles turn white, his head bowed. He's muttering under his breath, words I can't hear.
I clear my throat and he turns to look at me. "Well, uh, I guess I'm gonna get going..."
"Wait, Ryah. Just wait." He moves towards me while he fists his hands at his sides. "Listen, I'm sorry, it's just-"
I hold out my hand and shake my head, forcing a soft smirk. He promised he was done running, but it seems to me that's exactly what he's about to do.
"It's okay, really. I have shit to do. I have a workout with the team and some music to work on and then a shift at the tavern later. My day is packed so I'm just gonna go."
"Ryah..."
I cut him off. "Thanks for last night. It was fun." He grabs my bicep and pulls me to him, his free hand coming up to my face, his thumb and forefinger caressing my chin. "I'll see you later, okay?"
He presses a soft kiss to my lips and nods, letting me go. I slip out the door and let myself into my apartment, my teeth clenched so tight they hurt.
I have no idea what the hell just happened, what I said or what I did. But I do know that he reacted just the way he always has with me when he's uncomfortable, the way he promised he was done doing.
He's a lot like me, just like I theorized he was from the beginning. He's used to being alone, used to keeping things in, used to shutting everyone else out and dealing with his problems alone.
But the way I feel about him—it makes me want to try to be different. He said he would try, too. But if he can't even do that for one full day, how is any of this going to work?
