Epithet Erased One-Shots

Being with You Makes Shopping Fun! (Bugsy x Arnold)

Requested by @AIAW29

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Arnold slipped his hand into Bugsy's hand while they walked down the street. They had just received debriefing on a mission they were to do that night, so they were aimlessly wandering around waiting for time to pass. Bugsy looked down at his boyfriend's hand cautiously. He had never been good at the whole relationships thing, but it had been a couple months, and they were still going strong. He must be doing something right.

"Are you okay with us doing a bit of shopping Bugsy?" Arnold asked, with his usual goofy grin that made Bugsy's heart flutter.

A smile spread across Bugsy's face too. Arnold's smile was contagious, it seemed. "Of course. Where do you want to go?"

Arnold shrugged. "Anywhere."

"There's a place," Bugsy suggested, pointing to a small clothing store.

Arnold began quickly walking towards it, dragging Bugsy along with him. The clothing store was fairly new, run by a young woman who wanted to start her own business. Arnold liked the thought of doing something like that, but he always felt like it wouldn't work out for him. He was a buyer, not a seller. His epithet was only 'coupon.'

Arnold immediately tore through a clothing rack of sweaters. He held up a mauve sweater, eyeing it up and down. "What do you think about this one, Bugsy?" he asked.

Bugsy looked from Arnold to the sweater, and then back again. "Honestly, is there anything you can't pull off?" he asked with a laugh.

A small blush appeared on Arnold's face. "I suppose not, if you say so," he answered. He kept the sweater with him as he continued searching for something else he might enjoy wearing. He looked over at a table full of hoodies. Most of them were bright colors, which he couldn't stand. Finally, he noticed one that was a grayish blue. "What about this one?" Arnold asked.

"I still think you look good in everything," Bugsy reminded him.

Arnold smiled his iconic goofy smile. "Thank you Bugsy, but drop the flirting and be honest."

"Okay," Bugsy agreed, "One hundred percent honestly, everything looks good on you."

"Alright," Arnold muttered softly, his cheeks heating up again.

"Ooh!" Bugsy shouted, pointing to a turtlenecked t-shirt that was a dull shade somewhere in between red and pink. "That! You'd look great in that!"

Arnold's goofy smile grew wider. "Oh, that's absolutely my style! Thank you, Bugsy!" He rushed over to the t-shirt and pulled it from its rack. He held it up to himself. "And it's just the perfect size, too!" he noted gleefully.

Arnold looked over his selection of tops. "I think I have enough, for now," he told Bugsy, "Do you want anything?"

"Not particularly," Bugsy answered. He wasn't as big of a shopper as Arnold was, but he did like shopping with him.

"If you say so," Arnold hummed, "Y'know, whenever you want to, just call me. I'll shop with you any day."

"You'd shop with anybody any day," Bugsy pointed out.

"Yes, but I like to shop with you especially," Arnold told him.

"Oh. Thank you," Bugsy squeaked with a blush.

Arnold pulled out his coupon book, and flipped through it carefully. This was his absolute favorite part of shopping trips. Carefully, he selected two coupons, a buy two get one free, and a fifty percent off coupon. He approached the lady at the cash register with a smug grin on his face, issuing a silent challenge.

"I'd like to purchase these," he announced, tossing the shirts onto the counter.

The clerk smiled at him. "Thank you for shopping with us today," she said, scanning the tags, "That will be fifty-six dollars."

He sneered. "Let's add these to the mix, shall we?" He waved the two coupons in front of her face coyly.

"I don't think we take those kinds of coupons here," the girl informed him, her smile quickly turning from happy one to a customer service smile.

"Oh?" he asked, slapping one coupon onto the sweater, and another onto the hoodie. The numbers shown on the cash register dropped magically as the coupons shone brightly for a second before dissolving into the clothes.

The customer service smile devolved even further, into an extremely forced grimace. "I guess we do!" she exclaimed with faux cheerfulness, "Great..."

He handed her a mere twenty two dollars in exchange for his clothes. "Pleasure doing business with you," he jeered.

Arnold and Bugsy stepped out of the shop shortly after paying. "You sure showed her the power of coupons!" Bugsy praised.

"Thanks," Arnold stammered with a small blush. He leaned up on his tiptoes to give his boyfriend a kiss.

Bugsy made the kind of noises a computer makes when it blue screens. His face went red. Arnold chuckled at his reaction. "I love you, Arnold," he finally managed after he finished stuttering out nonsense.

"I love you too," Arnold replied, still laughing.